Excuse Me, What the Hell Is Making This Noise?

Help. Photo: Martin Ruegner/Getty Images

Hello and happy Friday. Before you leave to enjoy your weekend, I have one question for you: What the hell is happening in this video?

The haunting footage was captured last month by Gino Meekis while he was grouse hunting with his wife and grandson in the forests of northwestern Ontario, over 30 miles from the nearest town. Meekis told Vice that he and his family had walked down a trail to see a bird, and were walking back to their car when they heard the first loud, echoing howl. “When it let out the first scream, I thought it was a moose, but my mind changed when it screamed again and again,” he said.

Online, people have speculated that the unidentified cries are those of a Bigfoot, or Sasquatch, the folkloric, apelike creatures rumored to dwell in the woods of North America. That being said, noted ‘Squatch connoisseur, Virginia congressman Denver Riggleman — who drew headlines last year for his erotic drawings of Bigfoots (Bigfeet?) — has yet to comment on the video.

In an email to Vice, Jolanta Kowalski, the media relations officer for Ontario’s Ministry of Resources and Forestry said that experts weren’t able to identify the source of the noise. “Our biologists say it could be a larger mammal — for example a wolf — but because it’s a considerable distance from the recorder there is no way to know for sure.”

Is the forest yeller a chain-smoking, raspy-voiced moose? A baritone wolf? A Bigfoot? An alien? Whatever it is, I hate it, and its cursed cry will echo through my soul whenever I find myself in a moment of quiet contemplation.

Excuse Me, What the Hell Is Making This Noise?