It’s officially less than a week until Christmas. I understand that this information may be quite frightening, but please relax. If you found yourself too busy this holiday season to get a tree, you — sad, exhausted, and overwhelmed — might be wondering if it’s even worth it to get one at this point. You’ll only have a few days to enjoy it, right? Why bother. Right?
WRONG!
There are several “reasons” to ditch getting a tree, particularly if you’re only going to be able to enjoy it for a short period of time. Fortunately for you they are all wrong, and I will address them here one by one. I’ll begin with, yes, the idea that you will have it for “a short period of time.”
You’ll Only Have It for a Short Period of Time
Oh, will you? What day do you take down your Christmas tree and your various other Christmas decorations? Is it December 26, like what Taylor Swift apparently thinks is the norm? No. I doubt it. I bet you leave them up until about January 2, which is the same deviant pleasure Taylor Swift allows herself now that she lives with her “lover,” as the song goes.
That gives you — if you go out and get one today (which is what I personally am doing, so you can trust me) — two full weeks with your tree. And instead of spending the last week thinking “damn, this tree really looks sad,” like you normally would, the tree will still look relatively happy, because you hadn’t had much of a chance to forget to water it yet. And isn’t that nice?
It’s Expensive
Okay, yes. I’ll allow that you have to judge for yourself whether you have it within your Christmas budget to splurge on a tree. But how about this: Maybe you can get an inexpensive one? Something smaller than you would have gotten, had you been able to earlier in the season? Something mini? Something maybe a bit sadder? You and the remaining trees have had a long, tiring season. Maybe you can take an unwanted one home, and treat him like a little Christmas king.
It’s a Fire Hazard
Maybe you should get one of those smart plugs that you can control using your phone? If you don’t have one this year maybe you can remember for next year. Otherwise just don’t leave the lights on at night or when you leave your home. I can’t cure everything about Christmas trees for you; I can only stress for you the fact that you still have time to get one this year.
It’s a Mess, and for What? Two Weeks of Tree?
Yes, when the tree is gone you will likely have the same amount of needle-related mess to clean up that you would if you had the tree for a whole month, or however long you usually have it. But I need you to think, and be honest. Isn’t it a bit satisfying to clean up an enormous tree mess? You see all those needles and think: Oh my God. But then you sweep them up. And then you maybe vacuum the rest. And you look and think, huh. There used to be a huge mess here, but I took care of it, and now that task is done.
If it were an iPhone game, I am sure it would be thought of as “soothing.”
Putting the Dead Tree on the Curb Is Sad
Again, I can’t help you with every unfortunate Christmas tree-related thing. It’s sad for me, too. I really hate it. I’m not sure what to tell you other than that I do think you should still get one.
Imagine this: Every day for the next two weeks you wake up and think, “Damn. I really should have gotten a tree yesterday. I guess it’s too late now.”
Now imagine this: Every day for the next two weeks you wake up, plug in your tree lights, sip your coffee, and when you take a deep breath the air smells like tree. You gaze at your festive beauty and think, “Ah. I’m glad I got this tree the other day, even though some (including myself!) were unsure whether it was wise. Whew!” The holiday season is here, and you are savoring it. You made the right decision.
Just get a tree. (If you want.)
