Houston Neighborhood Terrorized by ‘Bloodthirsty’ Squirrel

Probably not this squirrel. Probably. Photo: MARCO BERTORELLO/AFP via Getty Images

Having recently declared (and likely won) war on New England, the squirrels appear to have turned their attention to Texas, where one of their brethren has been dutifully terrorizing a Houston neighborhood. Residents of Bridgeland Shores report that a tree rat who “started off friendly and playful has become imposing and aggressive,” per a local NBC affiliate. Now, it’s absolutely battering all those who unwittingly stumble into its path.

“We usually don’t go outside in the daytime because he comes out in the daytime,” Sharlene French-Amezquita, who has been bitten by this “bloodthirsty” squirrel, told KPRC-TV.

Apparently, French-Amezquita tried to shoo the little gremlin away from her front door, on which it was doubtless sharpening its mouth knives. The intrusion may be what caused the squirrel to turn on her.

“When I stepped outside the door he leaped on me and bit my arm,” she said. “I pulled him off, threw him to the ground, and tried to get in the house.” But the nightmare didn’t end there: “I couldn’t get in … because he came back, he bit this leg.” French-Amezquita’s injuries required stitches, which probably explains why her terrified daughter now avoids trees.

According KPRC-TV’s report, French-Amezquita’s neighbors have taken to arming themselves with baseball bats and shovels whenever they are forced to venture outdoors, because she’s not the only one who’s been attacked: One Katie Herrera recalled her harrowing encounter with this small fiend as “scary.” An understatement, I’m sure.

Unfortunately, according to CBS 11, both animal control and Texas Park & Wildlife say they can’t remove the squirrel until someone — ahem — traps it. So for now, the reign of terror continues apace.

This Squirrel Is Out for Blood