Kick Off the New Year With Weird Foot Stuff

Photo: Science Photo Library/Getty Images

I will always remember 2019 as the year I first saw a podiatrist after my big toenail ripped off while dancing — to Journey, unfortunately — at a wedding. When I say the nail was “off,” that’s only partly true; it was hanging on by a little toenail nubbin, and the podiatrist had to inject numbing solution into my toe half a dozen times to get it all the way off. He did so gracefully, with such a beguiling mixture of patience and schmaltz that I’ve been singing his praises ever since. I’m bringing that same energy into 2020: the year podiatrists get the respect they deserve.

To this end, I’d like to suggest watching TLC’s new show My Feet Are Killing Me, airing tonight. The nine-part series, which hopes to follow-up on the success of TLC’s Dr. Pimple Popper, will highlight a variety of imperfections and ills, including wart clusters, fungus, and “foot reconstructions,” according to People. I’ve yet to see it, but the trailer — which I won’t embed because “viewer discretion is advised” due to the copious graphic images of feet — is gnarly as fuck. In other words: real. These are real feet for real people who ache, and bleed, and grow bunions. It’s hosted by doctors Ebonie Vincent and Brad Schaeffer, both of whom are foot and ankle surgeons.

People reports that patients featured on the show will include “a romance novelist looking to get her unsightly sixth toe amputated; an athlete with two dramatically different sized feet … a nudist with severe fungus; and an adorable toddler born with 12 toes.” In other words, this show has a lot of problems. It’s heel-to-toe gross-out magic, and that’s what I want.


Kick Off the New Year With Weird Foot Stuff