What Time Is the Super Bowl?: A Poem

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You awake with a start, just one thought in your head
Your eyes unfocused but gleaming
Questions abound, like an unspooling thread
What time does Super Bowl 2020 start (kickoff time), Chiefs vs. 49ers, what channel is it on, and of course — is it streaming?

You shout out the door, up the stairs, down the hall
To your neighbors, you plea and you cry

But they are no help, all you get in return
Are requests that you please stop yelling
Well let’s see if you help when they have a concern
Oh yes, that will be quite telling …

You run to the street, half-dressed and unkempt
Catching those on their morning commute
Ah yes, now’s the perfect time to attempt
To pull off your burning pursuit

“Oh, pardon me, ma’am? Oh, sir? And dear child?
May I ask you quite quickly a question?”
People walk past, even though you big-smiled
Hiding well your growing aggression

You run to a café and stand in the line
While muttering under your breath
“Just knowing the time at this point would be fine…
Of this American shibboleth!”

“Excuse me, what was that you said? Not to pry”
Asks the woman in line before you
Oh gosh, you’re so happy you begin to cry
And she ev’n offers you a tissue

“What time is the Super Bowl LIV?”
You ask, with tears in your eyes
“I’m not sure … uh, I can Google and see?”
She says with a hint of surprise

“Okay, it says Sunday, 6:30 at night
And, yeah, that’s in Eastern Time
It’s airing on Fox, if I’m reading this right
J.Lo will perform at halftime (and Shakira)”

You collapse on the floor, your legs turned to mush
Finally, the answers you craved!
Oh, having this knowledge, it is such a rush
You feel even a little depraved

“Oh, miss, thank you for this info you’ve shared!
But I have one lingering Q
And I do hope that your device is prepared!”
She takes it out, as if on cue

“Okay. What?” She asks, and now you’re just beaming
“I’ll search for it. It’s not that hard.”
“Tell me,” you ask, “is the Super Bowl streaming?
I’d like to watch it unbarred.”

“Yeah, I don’t know man,” she sighs into her phone
“It seems like it must be, somewhere?
I dunno, maybe you can search on your own”
She says, without even a care

I stalk from the place, my face in a frown
Is this a nightmare, am I dreaming?
Can’t anyone tell me, in this whole damn town
What time does Super Bowl 2020 start (kickoff time), Chiefs vs. 49ers, what channel is it on, and of course — is it streaming?!

What Time Is the Super Bowl?