Love Is Blind, Dog Loves Wine

Photo: Netflix/Twitter

Love Is Blind, the Netflix show I’ve seen only 75 percent of because I have to fast-forward a lot due to secondhand embarrassment, took its derangement to new heights over the weekend. Jessica, the 34-year-old regional manager engaged to Mark, the 24-year-old fitness trainer she has known for about two weeks, and whom she got to know through a series of conversations through a totally opaque wall, did something truly shocking. Shocking even for a program in which people propose marriage to each other after about two weeks, through a totally opaque wall.

Deep in the throes of a tense relationship talk with her fiancé about whether or not he wants kids, what he thinks about gender roles, or if she is exactly like his mom, Jessica casually lowered her giant glass of red wine down toward the floor. There, her golden retriever serenely lapped up the drink while Jessica sweetly whispered simply, “She loves wine.”

If a dog loves her wine, should she be denied it?? Veterinarians say yes, she should: dogs don’t have any tolerance for alcohol and would likely be extremely impaired and distressed by its effects, which would probably make them feel sick.

Aside from the science, it was perhaps more disconcerting to watch Mark not even blink an eye after Jessica brought her wineglass back to her own lips and had a sip after her dog had hers. In a normal situation in which he had not yet proposed to a woman he has known solely through a wall, he might be able to clock the moment as a red flag or even just a slightly disconcerting quirk. But we don’t even know what was going on behind his wide, worrying eyes because Mark has so many other issues to deal with, like the fact that he has already asked Jessica to marry him. Which is why this show is so addictive and wild: Its draconian parameters make even the world’s most boring singles eminently watchable.

Like, Mark hasn’t even actually heard Jessica’s voice before…

Love Is Blind, Dog Loves Wine