Paging Dr. Pimple Popper

Mars’ filthy pore. Photo: NASA/JPL/University of Arizona

This weekend, NASA’s Astronomy Picture of the Day blog posted this picture of a large hole on the surface of Mars. According to NASA, the hole was first discovered in 2011 on images of the “dusty slopes of Mars’ Pavonis Mons” and “appears to be an opening to an underground cavern.” No offense to Mars, who I’m sure is trying their best, but according to me, the hole looks exactly like a blackhead.

In Mars’ defense, its hole seems much cooler than a regular blackhead on the side of your nose. While human blackheads are small and filled with boring stuff like oil and dead skin cells, NASA scientists Robert Nemiroff and Jerry Bonnell estimate that this gaping Martian pore is about 35 meters across, 20 meters deep, and could possibly be filled with “Martian life.”

Nemiroff and Bonnell conclude the post by writing that these pits are “prime targets for possible future spacecraft, robots, and even human interplanetary explorers.” Maybe one of those human interplanetary explorers will be Sandra Lee, better known as Dr. Pimple Popper, the dermatologist whose videos of her draining patients’ pimples and zits became so popular that she landed a show on TLC. While I can’t watch any of Dr. Pimple Popper’s videos because they make me gag, I think I would enjoy watching her pull on gloves and carefully press down on the sides of this space mound, and seeing a gaggle of little aliens spill out, angry and complaining about their subterranean home being disturbed. Plus, who knows – maybe some of them will be hot.

Paging Dr. Pimple Popper