We Will No Longer Cover Your Face Tattoos

Can’t do it! Photo: @presleygerber/Instagram

Famous people simply love tattooing their faces, or so I have gleaned from the rash of celebs who’ve been posting photos of their freshly inked mugs to social media lately. Somehow we are just three months into 2020, and already, Chris Brown has had a large sneaker tattooed on his cheek. Amber Rose got her kids’ names, Bash and Slash, tattooed across her forehead. Post Malone, who already had a bunch of face tattoos anyway, so perhaps this one won’t shock you, added a bloody buzzsaw to his collection. The Game had a Kobe Bryant tribute tattooed over his left eye. And last month, Presley Gerber, son of supermodel Cindy Crawford, got the word “misunderstood” tattooed on his cheekbone in all caps.

Since debuting the tat in February, Gerber has been talking about it … a lot. “Most and a lot of people can get a face lifts, change genders, lip injections, etc and it’s offensive to say anything in today’s age but I get a little face tattoo and now people love to hate me,” the 20-year-old wrote in one of his Instagram Stories last week. He also invited anyone who has “shit to say” about the design’s location, “or anything else,” to come “say it to [his] face” tattoo.

Possibly in rebuke to all the alleged backlash, Gerber posted a selfie to Instagram on Tuesday that appeared to feature a second face tattoo — the Los Angeles Dodgers logo inside a star. Well, maybe he just loves sports! Not my face, not my problem! Too many other problems already afoot! Your face, your choice! But as it turns out, the logo was just a filter. Or so he explained on Instagram today, bidding his followers to “stfu please or imma delete my gram it stressful.”

Ah yes well, stress levels are running untenably high worldwide. There are so many more pressing things to worry about right now, and who has the energy for a face tat false alarm? In this economy? Which is being ravaged by a global pandemic? Simply can’t spare it. This has been our final face tattoo dispatch for the foreseeable. No one should be touching faces at this time, anyway!

We Will No Longer Cover Your Face Tattoos