Treat Yourself to Shirtless, Kilt-Clad Detective Stabler

Photo: @Chris_Meloni/Twitter

Is it just me, or are the thirst traps under quarantine getting … better?

Take, for instance, Chris Meloni, a.k.a Detective Eliot Stabler on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, who posted a couple of pictures of himself cosplaying as a traditional Scottish wedding guest from social isolation. In the first shot of the series, which Meloni tweeted out Monday evening, he is naked from the waist up in what appears to be an office vestibule of some kind. Dressed only in a kilt, extremely starched socks, and a decorative earpiece, he adopts the smoldering, clenched stance of a man posing for a firefighter calendar.

The next logical step would be an image of Meloni without the socks and/or kilt, but the demure detective instead gets fully dressed, adding a ruffled top, beaded neckless, shoes, waist satchel, and pink sunglasses to his ensemble. Completing his look is an expression of creeping satisfaction, befitting a man who has just binged West World, then eaten an entire box of sugary cereal, then raided his closet for inspiration. He looks good and he knows it.

Which is why I’d like to formally welcome Detective Stabler to my isolation circle. I used to see him as something of a human white board — sturdy, morally neutral, good for solving problems — but now that I’ve seen what he’s like after spending a few days in his house, I’m intrigued. I can’t say that of most people. But most people don’t bring freaky seminude kilt energy to the party.

Treat Yourself to Shirtless, Kilt-Clad Detective Stabler