A Cocktail at 9:30 A.M.? Sure, Why Not.

As we approach day 300 of being confined to our homes, we no longer have any concept of time. What even is “a weekend” anymore? Surely a thought-provoking question, the answer to which I do not know. Eating three meals, spaced equally throughout the day? Haha. Among the concepts rendered meaningless is “the cocktail hour,” as the Barefoot Contessa herself reminded us all today at 9:30 a.m.

Now, Ina Garten certainly believes in the tradition of the cocktail hour. In fact, in a video posted to Instagram on Wednesday morning, she starts off saying it’s her “favorite” tradition, which is why she wants to keep it alive during the coronavirus pandemic. In the video, she then goes on to make an astonishingly large Cosmopolitan, dumping cups of Grey Goose (“good vodka”), triple sec, cranberry juice cocktail, and freshly squeezed lime juice into a pitcher bigger than her head, which she gleefully shakes and then pours into a hulking martini glass.

“Now doesn’t that look fabulous, nice and cold,” Garten says to her drink as much as she does to her viewers, letting out an endearing chuckle before carefully lifting the glass to her lips for a sip.

Here’s what Garten is saying, based on my interpretation: Time is meaningless. Pick your own cocktail hour, any hour. Go forth and shake yourself a Cosmo; show complete disregard to whatever the clock says. And then, here’s what I’d recommend: Meditate calmly on the image of Ina and Jeffrey passing their giant drink back and forth, being careful not to spill it. Maybe call up an old friend on Zoom. Celebrate time’s utter lack of meaning.