On Tuesday, pop icon and accidental home gym arsonist Britney Spears posted a picture of herself wearing a puka-shell necklace on Instagram. The picture was accompanied by a lengthy caption that wasn’t actually about the necklace — although I’d love to hear more about it (are puka shells back?) — but about her bangs, and the complicated role they’ve played in her life.
“I know I need bangs,” Spears began. She explained that she first grew out her bangs in third grade after she went to a modeling agency and was told she wasn’t pretty enough. Spears said it was a “big deal” to expose her forehead, and that “only pretty people in the south” could do that, and that she felt like an “ugly duckling.” To look more like the older pageant girls, she got rid of her bangs, a decision she claims made her look “sooooo bad” but that she thought made her look gorgeous. She said she’s stayed pretty much bang-less ever since, but now she sees bangs make her look younger and feel protected.
Does the story fully track? Not necessarily. I don’t fully believe that only “pretty people” can expose their foreheads in the South, and despite her claims of long-term bang-lessness, Spears has had bangs at several points in her career, most notably sporting a soft fringe in the art and video for her debut single “...Baby One More Time.” But whatever, that doesn’t matter. What matter is that Spears loves her bangs now, and that’s great. I’m happy for her, and as a fellow bangs evangelist, I gladly welcome her into our ranks, where she joins other bang notables like Dakota Johnson, and Pikachu.
Now. If anyone has anymore information about puka-shell necklaces and whether they’re making a comeback, please get in touch with me as soon as possible.