x æ a-12

Big Government Won’t Let Elon Live

X Æ A-12!!! Photo: Neilson Barnard/Getty Images

This being America, perhaps you thought two consenting adults would enjoy the freedom to name their progeny whatever the hell they want. Your baby your choice, be it Kale or Lakynn or Gunner or Insta or just a collection of numbers and symbols chosen seemingly at random. Apparently, though, Big Government would like to rein in one celebrity couple’s personal naming liberties, barring them from putting “X Æ A-12 Musk” on their child’s birth certificate because it does not comply with California “law.”

A “a supervisor at the Department of Public Health Vital Records Office in Los Angeles,” where baby Grusk is presumed to have been born, told TMZ that legal names may only incorporate letters from the English alphabet, no numerals or special characters allowed. This poses a problem for troublingly overconfident billionaire Elon Musk and singer Grimes, who just announced — with apparent earnestness — that their newborn son would be called X Æ A-12. On Tuesday, Grimes laid out a detailed explanation for this unconventional selection: “X” stands for “the unknown variable,” while Æ is the “elven spelling of Ai (love &/or Artificial intelligence.)” A-12 equals the “precursor to SR-17 (our favorite aircraft). No weapons, no defenses, just speed. Great in battle, but non-violent,” and “A=Archangel,” a reference to her favorite song.

Well, it would appear that the pair can call their child this — assuming they know how to pronounce it; I certainly do not — but they cannot log it in California’s official records. I can only imagine how this development is going over with our big truck-loving boy. By now we all know how much Elon values his “goddamn freedom.”

Big Government Won’t Let Elon Live