I Want to Quarantine With a Ghost

A ghost.
Don’t they look nice??? Illustration: Getty Images/Cavan Images RF

For a story on what it’s like to quarantine with a ghost, the New York Times interviewed a handful of humans who believe they’re currently living alongside an otherworldly spirit. Some of the anecdotes do sound horrifying: One Los Angeles man says he “hid under the comforter, like you see in horror movies,” after his ghost shook one of his windows so violently, he mistook the disturbance for an earthquake. But I’m not convinced that life with a ghost would be all that scary.

In fact, after reading about the experiences of those who live alongside spirits, envy washed over me. Take, for example, Danielle, 39-year-old woman living in Richmond, British Columbia. She told the Times about walking into her guest bedroom and finding a lamp turned on that she never touched; while sewing face masks, she says that two pieces of fabric disappeared seemingly into thin air. While puzzling, she doesn’t seem to mind the ghost — who, in my opinion, sounds like an innocuous trickster. “This kind of feels like someone popping by to cheer me up, or keep tabs, or make sure that I’m not feeling alone,” she told the Times.

And then there’s the case of a 24-year-old woman living in Rome, whose ghost seems genuinely interested in her well-being. A few weeks into quarantine, she told the Times, she awoke to find a camera lens on her nightstand. She had apparently lost the lens long ago and given up on finding it. So, when it suddenly turned up — which, obviously, was a gift from her ghost — she decided to pick up her old film hobby. What a supportive being!

Actually, let me extend a formal invitation: To all lonesome ghosts without a place to call home, the walls of my apartment are yours to pass through. If ghosts are bothering humans more than usual right now — which appears to be the case, as reports of haunted houses are apparently on the rise — that must mean the ghosts are lonely and looking for company, too.

I Want to Quarantine With a Ghost