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The Soldier Looking for Dominating Men on Craigslist

“I haven’t gone this long without sex since boot camp.”

Illustration: Simone Noronha
Illustration: Simone Noronha

Jason, 24, Georgia

A month ago, I would never have thought I’d post a Craigslist Missed Connection, but things have really changed over the last month of quarantine. I’m a soldier located on an Army base in Georgia. For the last couple of weeks, we’ve been restricted to our rooms on base, so I have no sexual outlet.

I live in a dormitory, which is common among single, junior enlisted members. I have a roommate, so I’m not entirely isolated, and we have a good-sized room, but it’s still a single with only one private bathroom. Luckily, my roommate and I get along, but it’s too much time with one person. We really only get to leave the space for meals, physical training, and laundry. But I don’t have a lot of laundry, because I’m just in my room in my skivvies all day.

I’m a pretty sexual guy. Even though I haven’t had a regular girlfriend or boyfriend in a while (I’m bi), I was having sex usually two or three times a week. So being put in quarantine with only my roommate (who is straight and unaware I’m bi) has changed things. I haven’t had sex in weeks, and haven’t gone anywhere near this long without sex since boot camp when I was 18.

I’ve had to resort to only masturbation. I normally masturbate several times a week anyway, but it’s different when that’s all you’re doing. Also, with nothing else to do, sex is somewhat all I think about. I’m masturbating three or four times a day. The monotony of each day looking like the one before, combined with the fact that there was no end in sight — I just remember thinking, I need to talk to someone soon or I will go crazy.

In the past, I’ve posted some ads about meeting in-person on Grindr or Scruff, but this was the first time I was looking to talk with somebody virtually. Since I was just looking for a phone, text, or email discussion (and not a date or an in-person hookup), Craigslist seemed most appropriate.

Overall, I got about 25 responses, and a few were really good and turned into prolonged texting or phone calls. There are two who have gone beyond three or four times that we’ve talked. And for those, we’ve been speaking every other day or so.

There was one that led to a great topping fantasy. It took a while to build, which is why it was so good. We texted back and forth for a long time. It was usually sexually suggestive but also just learning about each other: We talked about where each of us was from, what types of sports we did in high school, what we do for fun, where I had been stationed, about my roommate. We even discussed past sexual history and how and when I became a bottom. Eventually it became more sexual and direct. The individual, who was a few years older than me, became more controlling in telling me what to do and what he would do to me. We did this over several different sessions, and it resulted in us both coming several times.

With men, I like to be dominated. There is something about the masculine nature of a guy that causes me to be submissive that I don’t feel at all with a woman, even if she seems to be a dominating type. I can also get into most kinks, since one of the things I enjoy most is pleasing a guy, so I like to get into what they like. I definitely get a strong personal and sexual satisfaction out of pleasing another guy.

Although the responses to my ad have surpassed my expectations, it’s still not the same as being with another human. I definitely miss the touch — and I definitely like a lot of touch.

Interviews have been edited and condensed for clarity.

The Soldier Looking for Dominating Men on Craigslist