Aliens Have Located the Perfect Human Specimen

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In an interview with Joe Rogan this week, rapper, Crocs designer, and Totally Kind of Hot man Post Malone confirmed something that, let’s be honest, you already knew in your bones: He’s seen UFOs multiple times.

“I was probably 16. I was in upstate New York,” he told Rogan of his first experience. “My aunt and uncle were very strict, and we had to go to bed at very strict deadline — probably 10 p.m. I was looking out the window with my cousin and it’s just a light that just stays there and then just fucking goes off … I mean, it just, whoosh. You can’t explain it.”

When Rogan expressed skepticism, questioning how strong Post’s memory was of the event (Post conceded it was “medium” strong), the rapper went on to say that he’s seen “shit” in Utah, where he lives, as well as in L.A.

When he lived in Tarzana, California, Post said, he saw what looked like “a classic forcefield … it’s kind of like a dome in a circular shape.”

“I’m like, ‘How did no one else see this?’ But I was there with like four other fucking people, and they saw it too.”

Post’s interview comes just three months after the Pentagon released its own footage of three “unidentified aerial phenomena,” (footage that had already been made public in 2017 and 2018 by To the Stars Academy of Arts & Science, former Blink-182 musician Tom DeLonge’s company.) And just last week, retired senator Harry Reid told the New York Times that he believes that “crashes of objects of unknown origin may have occurred and that retrieved materials should be studied.”

In short, it’s been an exciting time for alien-watchers. But imagine what an exciting time these past few years have been for the aliens, who have gotten to interact, albeit briefly, with the perfect human specimen: a talented musician with fun tattoos, great style, an open mind, and a curse that seems to have mostly worn off by now. We should all be so lucky! No wonder they keep coming back to him for more.

Aliens Have Located the Perfect Human Specimen