As far as adversaries go, the moon does not feel like a particularly natural one: She just sits up there, providing crucial support for the tides; minding her own business; and looking beautiful, like cheese. Who would wish her harm? Who would go out of their way to make chaos for the moon, an extremely significant celestial entity that — I think we can all intuitively agree — is not to be fucked with?
According to a rumor roiling the witchier corners of the internet, a group of “baby witches” recently took it upon themselves to hex the moon. At least, that’s the allegation circulating on WitchTok — witch TikTok — where other witches have warned of the harrowing divine backlash coming down the pipe.
This is, I know, a lot to take in. You’re bound to have questions. Let’s unpack.
Who would try to hex the moon?
It’s presently unclear where this hexing rumor started, but online, witches are absolutely losing it. According to one Reddit user, one witch from WitchTok knows who the four amateur witches who attempted the lunar hex are, but is keeping their identity secret to protect them from harassment. Allegedly, though, they’re the “same four who tried to hex the Fae.”
Sorry, who are “the Fae”?
According to Celtic lore, the Fae (more broadly known as the Fair Folk) are magical, fairy-type creatures with a reputation for mischievous, even sinister (“the Fair Folk are sociopaths,” one believer claims) behavior. As Twitter user @heyyadoraa pointed out in a thread addressing the recent hexing, “Fair Folk do not abide by human morals, because they are not human. Morality is a human construct. Fair Folk are not inherent[ly] malevolent, but they have different customs than we do.” And when you piss them off, @heyyadoraa added, “You’ve now got trickery for the rest of your life and maybe a bloodline curse! If you’re lucky. They’ll probably also steal your soul.”
High stakes, as you can see. And that’s before you even factor in the moon mayhem.
And what exactly does a hex entail?
A hex, or a curse, is a negative spell intended to do someone or something harm. As @punkpillars pointed out on Twitter, you “don’t hex by accident,” so the decision to aim damaging black magic at the moon “was definitely intentional.”
On TikTok, however, witches aren’t going into details as to how this rogue coven hexed the moon and the Fae — simply that they did it, apparently out of an excess of hubris, and that the sun may be next.
How would you even hex the moon?
Some elder witches say you wouldn’t, because hexing the moon is impossible; it is too formidable an entity for anyone to take on. “It’s not a thing,” TikTok user @ravenmunin0 said in a video addressing the moon-hexing rumors.
But what a witch can do, according to this camp, is strongly demonstrate their disrespect of the deities who control the moon. Basically, if these beginner witches did in fact try to hex the moon, then they have committed an offense against witchcraft and against nature, and they should expect the gods to smite them.
As to the gods these witch newbs may specifically have angered: Artemis, the Greek goddess of vegetation, wild animals, and the hunt. Because she is the twin sister to Apollo, the sun, Artemis is often associated with the moon. “As siblings, they are VERY intertwined,” @heyyadoraa explains, noting that Apollo is now “PISSED” because some magical newbs are out here throwing hexes at his sister, and he “WILL take action,” even if Artemis doesn’t need his help. Unfortunately, Apollo — one of the most powerful gods — is associated with healing and medicine. In the midst of a ravaging pandemic, he is probably not a god you’d want to risk messing with.
But more seasoned witches maintain that a group of newcomers can’t hope to hurt Artemis and Apollo. “I think they’re more mad at the audacity of these idiots that would want to hex the moon or anything related to nature, TikTok user and self-identified elder witch @thatonebluntwitch explained in a video. “It’s a sacred thing in witchcraft.”
What kind of retribution might these rumored baby witches face, specifically? Potentially, demonic retribution, at least according to @thatonebluntwitch, who says she works with demons. They have allegedly communicated to her that the “legions are restless, and they want to do something about it.” One demonic legion encompassing, by her count, “3,000 to 6,000, roughly.” So, she warned, “If you had nothing to do with this, you have nothing to worry about, but if you did? You’re fucked.”
“If they truly hexed the Fae, or tried to hex the Fae, or are still trying to hex the Fae, the Fae will curse them and their entire bloodlines,” @thatonebluntwitch added. “There’s no ifs, ands, or buts, about it. That’s it. There’s no way around it.”
Meanwhile, @heyyadoraa agreed, curses may be coming for those who participated. “If the gods are merciful, their hex will be sent back to them AND they will be hexed BY the gods. yeah, that’s mercy. If there’s no mercy? A curse. Lifelong, at least. Probably on their bloodline.”
And what about the rest of us, who did not hex the moon or even consider trying?
If you were unaware of planetary hexing as a concept, please do not worry. “The moon and sun probably didn’t feel a thing,” @chaoticwitchaunt explained on TikTok. “The Gods will take care of it. They are not hurt, just annoyed. They also won’t take some kid’s stupidity out on the entire human race.” So at least there’s that.