Being a person whose Ikea dresser from 2009 has two currently functioning drawers, I am in no position to sit and judge someone else’s home décor. And yet I shall. Because this house is the worst. It is the house of the most odious kind of political horndog who has decorated his abode like a junkie huffing Aaron Sorkin scripts. Imagine if Drake were American and thought of himself as a “deficit wonk.”
The offensive domicile in question is that of Frank Luntz, a “GOP influencer” and Fox News contributor who made the rounds after sharing on a CNBC segment that he was broadcasting from his very own Oval Office replica, which even the other CNBC contributors were shocked to encounter.
If you had the small fortune it cost Luntz to create this unbelievably dorky cosplay set in his Brentwood, California, mansion, what would you build? A life-size Polly Pocket dream bedroom? Your very own green and purple “gushy” room from the “WAP” video? The possibilities are endless, and yet rich people are always spending their money on the most tasteless and banal crap. Luntz’s house is no different. It is in fact more offensive than some of the tackier celebrity decoration schemes we’ve suffered through, because Luntz is obsessed with one of the most foul, besmirched, things on Planet Earth: American politics.
Each room is cringier than the next, starting with the aforementioned Oval Office, which comes with its own connected Lincoln Bedroom. So you can “sleep in the Oval Office,” Luntz says. Dreamy! And there is a replica of Monica Lewinsky’s famous blue dress in the bathroom, in case you want to be disgusting while humiliating yourself.
In lieu of a foyer, Luntz appears to have built his own personal Hudson News. Don’t you love visiting your home’s psychotically intricate newsstand with first editions of magazines emblazoned with your own name?
What about the room where you are forced to sit on an ugly chair, its only furniture, and stare at a huge old model of a German boat plonked down right in front of you?
Do you come to your dining room to eat, or be assaulted by an erratic collection of sports and political memorabilia as if you live in a junk shop in Colonial Williamsburg? Don’t you want to talk about the Olympic torch in the corner from the 1936 games held in Hitler’s Germany while wolfing down your starter so you can leave this horrible room?
Anyway, 30 million Americans are unemployed and this guy spent millions of dollars on a heinous nerd house on Sunset Boulevard. More reasons to love it here!