silent night

Melania’s Christmases, Ranked from Most to Least Haunted

Photo: SAUL LOEB/AFP via Getty Images

Melania Trump has unveiled her fourth and final set of White House Christmas decorations. This year’s come on the heels of a now-infamous leaked recording of her anti-Christmas rant, in which she was taped by her former assistant complaining about the holiday way back in July of 2018 (“I’m working my ass off on Christmas stuff … Who gives a fuck about Christmas stuff and decorations?” she said, among other things.)

As we bid adieu to Melania and the cursed Christmas tableaus she has given us these past four years, here’s a look back at them all, ranked from the most to least haunted:

Murder Christmas (2018)

Photo: @FLOTUS/Twitter

Melania’s 2018 Christmas decorations are easily her most malignant-looking. The focal point was a hallway of flayed, blood-red Christmas trees. Also of note: a menacing-looking wreath crafted out of branded “Be Best” pencils. It was supposed to evoke the theme “American Treasures,” but the effect was deeply ominous.

Frozen Wasteland (2017)

Photo: SAUL LOEB/AFP via Getty Images

Melania’s first White House Christmas was a barren landscape of fir trees dripping with plastic icicles. Its highlight was a stark, shadowy hallway that suggested the First Lady may have been inspired by Silent Hill. 

We Couldn’t Decide (2019)

Photo: @FLOTUS/Twitter

Perhaps tired of being criticized for the more rigorous themes of earlier Christmases, Melania’s 2019 decorations were a mess of paper flowers, gilded eagles, and (once again) “Be Best” Christmas tree decorations. While it wasn’t nearly as haunted as previous years, the video of Melania wandering the halls and sprinkling fake snow on everything remained unsettling.

Fuck Christmas (2020) 

Photo: @FLOTUS/Twitter

Well, she meant what she said. This year’s decorations include a toy train running over some branches, and the infamous hallway — previously the home of icicles and blood trees — seems to have some garden variety potted shrubbery in it. Looks pretty good, actually.

Melania’s Christmases, Ranked From Most to Least Haunted