With apologies to Pamela Anderson, I have decided that Jennifer Coolidge is the one true embodiment of a peaceful sexy life. Here is a woman who, by her own account, “was born without any energy, so every day involves at least 12 shots of espresso.” (Peaceful!) Who taught us to bend and snap. (Sexy!) Who will gamely use underwear as a hair tie in a pinch. (Somewhere in between!) Who, as a second-grader, penned the sentence, “My mother has soft brown eyes like a cow.” (Peaceful!) Who once pretended to be identical twins on vacation so that she could date two men at once. (Very sexy! Say more!)
In a recent appearance on The Kelly Clarkson Show (promoting her new movie, Promising Young Woman), Coolidge recalled the time, “quite a few years back,” when she visited Hawaii by herself. “When you come and you’re on vacation alone, you can kind of create anything you want,” she explained. “I ended up meeting these two guys that were best friends, and I liked them both, so I told them that I had an identical twin, and I dated both guys.”
“I don’t know if I would have the guts to do that now,” she added, “but at the time, it was sort of a great decision because when you’re younger, you just get away with anything.”
What’s more, Coolidge says she managed to sustain this inverse Parent Trap situation for a full two weeks. Unfortunately, she did not clarify if the charade ended because the men found out or because she simply left Hawaii, although I am choosing to believe the latter. I am choosing to believe that she punctuated her good-byes with a wardrobe change and then jetted into the sunset, sexy and at peace with her secrets.