Apologies to those of you who purchased, and planned on relaxing with, a nice cold bottle of Vanderpump Rosé — as in Real Housewife and restaurateur Lisa Vanderpump’s wine product — in the near future, but we are receiving reports that at least one batch may have been infiltrated by bugs. “Page Six” published photos of inventory that recently arrived at a Las Vegas liquor store that appear to show a creepy brown bug lurking at the bottom of a vintage 2018 Vanderpump bottle. Based on the bug’s size and its weird little pincers, “Page Six” believes it to be an earwig, agh!
“I recommend everyone thoroughly inspect any bottle of Vanderpump Rosé before purchasing and consuming them,” a source, presumably, but not definitely, connected with the whistleblowing liquor store, told the tabloid. Whoever this source is, they speculated that the bugs may be traceable to the bottling facility, rather than the vineyards Vanderpump uses in Provence, France. Again, no idea what this person’s specific role in the story may be, but Vanderpump’s distributor seemed surprised to learn of the insects. A representative for Palm Bay International told the outlet that this was “the first [they] are learning of it,” adding, “We stand behind the quality and integrity of the wines in our portfolio and require rigorous standards at the production and bottling facilities that we work with.”
As for earwigs, they like to hide in dark, damp places and enjoy diets rich in sweet foods and decay, so wine may hold a certain attraction. According to this Florida pest-control service, earwigs pose no threat to humans, despite their bad reputations: “Though it is possible to find an earwig in your ear, they do not lay their eggs in the ear canals of humans, nor do they feed on brains.” So in the grand scheme of Vanderpump-related dramas that are vaguely familiar to me, I would say (alleged) earwig wine sits somewhere on the ick spectrum between the supposed luxury dog-boutique grift (eh) and the SUR patron who says Sexy Unique Restaurant gave her food poisoning so severe, she both vomited and shat her pants at the table (screams). It’s gross, but not as gross as it could be.
Anyway, Vanderpump’s camp did not return “Page Six”’s request for comment, while Palm Bay International said it would “welcome the chance to connect directly with the individual who encountered this issue, as in five years of selling this product we have never received any retailer or customer complaints of this nature. Thank you!”
You’re all welcome.