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Post Malone Now Has Million-Dollar Vampire Teeth

Sparkly and expensive, just like his barrettes. Photo: Paul Morigi/Getty Images for The Stronach Gr

Move over, giant forehead diamond, there’s a shiny new celebrity facial adornment in town: Post Malone’s bedazzled vampire fangs. These, along with some more standard porcelain veneers, reportedly cost him a staggering $1.6 million, but he looks pleased with the purchase. Sparkly and expensive, just like his barrettes.

The singer and celebrated Crocs designer, whom a good many of my colleagues consider to be Totally Kind of Hot, had his new teeth installed over the weekend. According to TMZ — which has thoughtfully included a “stars at the dentist” slideshow in its post — the procedure was a “collaborative effort” by “celeb dentist” Thomas Connelly, cosmetic dentist Naoki Hayashi, and Isaac Bokhoor of Angel City Jewelers. In reality, the fangs are less bedazzled than they are actual diamonds, an approximately six-karat stone set on each tooth. (Or so I surmise from their reported combined weight of 12 karats.) Would you like a full tour?

Just so you know, the fangs represent a milestone in dental diamonds, as Connelly had never embedded a whole stone as a tooth before this job. (Apparently there’s a famous-person waitlist now.) Connelly told Rolling Stone that the results represent over a year’s worth of trial and error. “It’s very difficult to cut holes in diamonds without destroying them,” Connelly said, adding that it’s also difficult to make a tooth-shaped diamond, which may explain why you typically see diamond-encrusted teeth rather than teeth that are diamonds.

“If you get a six-carat canine tooth, you need a 12-carat raw cube. So there’s a lot of waste,” he noted. Regarding Malone’s new mouth jewels, Connellys said “they could have got three or four other diamonds out of it, so we had to waste it in order to get it into shape.” But, in Connelly’s estimation, the fangs “light up the room. They sparkle, they shine; they’re amazing,” and they can be brushed just as natural teeth would. Here’s hoping they stay firmly wedged in there.

Post Malone Now Has Million-Dollar Vampire Teeth