Then, Cuomo just … kept talking. He talked about New York lowering its number of coronavirus cases, while omitting the part where his administration covered up the high number of COVID deaths in nursing homes. He talked about passing marriage equality, the number of women in his senior administration, his daughters (ages 23, “26 and 26 — twins”), and said “New York tough” about as many times as he said “I’m sorry.”
His resignation felt like a drawn-out breakup where you keep asking the guy to leave and he keeps coming back to say, “And one more thing!” I suppose this is unsurprising from someone whose Twitter bio reads like a bad Tinder bio. (“Father, fisherman, motorcycle enthusiast.”) So, let’s give this man the send-off he deserves: a dumb little quiz about which quotes are from his resignation speech and which are something your ex probably said while you were breaking up.
Is This a Quote From Cuomo’s Resignation Speech or Something Your Shitty Ex Said When You Broke Up?
It's more difficult than you think!
Yes, Cuomo said this during his resignation speech in regards to the allegations from 11 women in the attorney general's recent report.
Nope, this is something Cuomo said during his resignation speech.
Unfortunately, yes, this is something Cuomo said in his speech.
Unfortunately, this is something Cuomo said in his speech.
Yep, Cuomo yet again.
Nope. It's Cuomo yet again.
You're right, but at what cost?
Nope, this one was indeed former New York Governor Andrew Cuomo.
Both answers are correct! It is absolutely something your ex said asked why he commented a fire emoji on an Instagram model's photo. Also, Cuomo said it in his resignation! He was talking about the time he told a female doctor in PPE giving him a COVID test, "You make that gown look good." Obviously, a joke!!!
Both answers are correct! We live in hell!
Again, both answers are correct! Can you believe this man (Cuomo) was in charge of an entire state?!
Again, both answers are correct.
Correct! Can you imagine saying this when resigning from literally any job? I cannot!
Nope, it was Cuomo.
Yep. In Cuomo's resignation speech, he regaled us with the time he joked with an engaged female officer about how much marriage sucks.
I know it sounds like your ex, but actually, it was Cuomo.
Yes, Cuomo said it.
Nope, it was Cuomo. Even your ex knows better than to say that out loud.
Yes, Cuomo said this in regards to the female police officer who accused the former governor of touching her stomach while passing her in a doorway.
No, this one's Cuomo.
Yes, Cuomo did indeed bring his adult daughters into his resignation speech.
Nope, Cuomo again.
Though it sounds like something you'd hear in a break-up, Cuomo did say this in his resignation.
No, it was Cuomo. Your ex would never admit to learning anything.
Yes, this is from Cuomo’s resignation. But if your ex did say it, I’m sure he, like Cuomo, tried to excuse shitty behavior by then saying, “And everything I have ever done has been motivated by that love”
No, this is from Cuomo’s resignation. But if your ex did say it, I’m sure he, like Cuomo, tried to excuse shitty behavior by then saying, “And everything I have ever done has been motivated by that love”
Yeah, Cuomo hit us with the “It’s not me, it’s you” of resignations.
No. Your ex would have stuck with something more traditional like, "It's not you, it's me" or "I was just working late!!"
Yes, Cuomo said this toward the end of his resignation speech. I don't know what to tell you.
No, Cuomo said this toward the end of his resignation speech. I don't know what to tell you.