Gird Your Livers, Hard Mountain Dew Is Coming

A delicious new beverage? A cry for help? Who’s to say! Photo-Illustration: by The Cut; Photos: The Boston Beer Company, Inc.

It was only a matter of time before boozy Mountain Dew became A Thing, and it appears that time is now. Hard Mountain Dew — excuse me, HARD MTN DEW — is coming in 2022. Batten down the hatches and gird your livers accordingly.

You can thank and/or blame Boston Beer Company and PepsiCo for this forthcoming concoction. Boston Beer Company also makes Truly Hard Seltzer, and I guess it couldn’t just rest on the laurels of its spiked-seltzer success. Like most other hard sodas, HARD MTN DEW will have 5 percent ABV. It will also have zero sugar. Unlike any other hard soda, it will taste like a cocktail mixed by your preteen self.

For those hoping hard Mountain Dew would fill a Four Loko–shaped void in their bar cart, you’ll have to keep searching. Unfortunately — thankfully? — the boozy Mountain Dew will not be caffeinated. However, it will come in three different flavors: original, black cherry, and watermelon. An unannounced fourth flavor is also in the works, and who’s to say what that could be. Tangerine? Pamplemousse? Whatever electricity tastes like?

Lest you forget, there is already a Mountain Dew for most every occasion. There’s Mountain Dew Pitch Black, for when you want your beverage to match your dark and citrusy soul. There’s Mountain Dew White Out for when regular cloudy water just won’t do. Mountain Dew has also come in Southern Shock, Berry Monsoon, Hurricane Dew, and Cake Smash. (One of those is fake, but you’ll have to figure it out on your own.) And now we have HARD MTN DEW, perfect for quietly sipping at a family gathering while your cousin talks about how not getting vaccinated actually makes them a genius.

Boozy Mountain Dew pairs best with mac-and-cheese ice cream and ignoring what’s good for you.

Gird Your Livers, Hard Mountain Dew Is Coming