Good news for anyone worried about World War III: Seems like the next big war will happen not on Earth but in space, caused by (who else?) Grimes and Elon Musk. While Musk and NASA are busy spending $178 million to reach one of Jupiter’s moons, Europa, Grimes apparently has her own plans for settling in space. Via an email to “Page Six,” Grimes seemed to confirm the couple’s breakup, informing the world that she will be “colonizing Europa separately from Elon for the lesbian space commune.” Is this … conscious uncoupling?
Last week, Musk informed “Page Six” that he and Grimes are “semi-separated” and are continuing to raise their son, X Æ A-Xii, who, come to think of it, probably would get bullied less on Europa. Grimes, meanwhile, was busy posting an Instagram Story in front of the most chaotic window treatment I’ve seen in my life, which all but confirms her intention to leave Earth. Someone who has tied lopsided blinds to hangers, the whole contraption dangling from a curtain rod, is certainly not long for this galaxy.
According to Musk, this surreal couple’s deepest schism was rooted in the fact that they couldn’t be in the same place here on Earth (his work keeps him mostly in Texas or overseas, while her work is in L.A.) — which could mean that there is still hope for them, should they both manage to end up on the same moon. Alas, the couple’s therapy options in space are limited, so war is probably the most likely outcome. At least Grimes is starting to stockpile her weaponry.