Whenever someone tries to talk to me about superhero movies, my brain becomes smooth and all new information just slides right off. Try as I might, my body refuses to retain knowledge related to your Spidermans, your Supermans, your various Batmans. That is, until I just learned Harry Styles is reportedly joining the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Suddenly, I care very deeply about superheroes and their silly, little movies.
(If you care about itty-bitty Marvel spoilers, this is probably where you should leave. Bye!)
First, I must pay respect to those of you who do enjoy such films. It is you I have to thank for finding out that in Marvel’s forthcoming movie Eternals, there is a post-credits scene that features a cameo from our sweet prince Harry Styles. It appears he will be playing Eros, the chiller brother of supervillain Thanos. (To save you the Google search: Thanos is the big purple man from Avengers: Infinity War who disappeared people by snapping his finger. Also, he is kind of hot even though people are afraid to admit it!)
There isn’t much else known about Styles’s specific role. (He only makes a brief cameo in the post-credits scene in the Eternals movie coming out November 5, which implies he’ll have role in a yet-to-be-announced future Marvel film.) But because I love and care about you, I did look up “Eros who even is he?” Here is what I found: Eros is a Titan, which basically means he’s very strong (hot). He also has the power to manipulate other people’s emotions (hot in a sensitive way). Also, his code name is Starfox (hot in a furry way), and he is canonically horny (hot in a hot way).
News of Styles joining the MCU first leaked last year when a Netflix reporter tweeted and then deleted a post about the singer’s role in his girlfriend Olivia Wilde’s forthcoming Don’t Worry, Darling. Per Rolling Stone, the tweet said Styles’s part in the film is technically his second acting role following Dunkirk, “if we’re counting the Marvel movie no one knows he’s in.” Well, we all know now, and I am having a hard time thinking about anything else.
Will Harry Styles get absolutely shredded for the film, as is standard for many actors joining the MCU? Will he do lots of little flips and stunts? Will I actually go to a theater to watch a Marvel movie? Unfortunately, these questions will remain unanswered for a while, as it will likely be a couple of years until Styles’s movie comes out. In the meantime, you can continue ignoring anything related to superheroes and watch my personal favorite Harry Styles film: “Let’s pretend we didn’t already know what ‘Watermelon Sugar’ means.”