the carters

Mom and Dad Went on a Fancy Little Date

Don’t stay out too late, guys! Photo: Tiffany & Co./Youtube

What does date night look like when you are one of the most famous couples in the world? If Tiffany & Co.’s latest ad featuring Beyoncé and Jay-Z is any indication, it looks a little like Breakfast at Tiffany’s and includes cameo appearances by your child, a dog, and some pizza. Just a normal couple having a normal date night while wearing tens of thousands (if not hundreds of thousands) of dollars in jewelry. Cute!

The ad opens with Beyoncé in the back seat of a car, plucking petals off a yellow daisy and saying, “He loves me; he loves me not.” (An allusion to her “Fuck my cheating husband” Lemonade era??) She then asks her driver to pull over, presumably to pick up Jay-Z off the street. Was he just hanging out on the corner wearing a $20,000 brooch? Regardless, he hops in and eventually pops the question everyone longs to hear from their partner: “Shall we have pizza?” To which Beyoncé replies, “I think we need pizza.” And just like that, pizza appears. I love to see these two pretend to be regular; they’re like aliens trying to blend in with human beings. Should we put this hot, gooey bread in our mouth holes? Why yes! We should do that!

Evidence that Jay-Z folds his pizza. Photo: Tiffany & Co./Youtube

Then they both declare, “We need Champagne.” Jay-Z asks, “Like, real Champagne or … ?” And Beyoncé replies, “I mean …” Again, a surprisingly regular way to talk about Champagne! Of course, they do mean real Champagne, and just like that, real Champagne appears! Specifically, a couple of glasses of Armand de Brignac Champagne, per Complex, which costs about $400 a bottle. But Jay-Z owns the brand, and these two are collectively worth over a billion dollars. So.

My favorite parts are the behind-the-scenes shots, in which you see the studio where they’re filming the ad, the green screen, the people shaking the car from outside to make it look like it’s moving. However, the undeniable stars of the video are not Beyoncé and Jay-Z but Blue Ivy — who makes an appearance while pretending to chase after the car — and a fluffy brown dog. Blue Ivy’s got braces! And glasses! Also, whose dog is that? Is it mine??

Unfortunately, this ad does not make me more inclined to buy Tiffany jewelry as I do not have the budget of Beyoncé and Jay-Z. But it did make me want pizza. So I guess it kind of worked?

Mom and Dad Went on a Fancy Little Date