no please

It’s Too Early for This

No, please! Photo-Illustration: The Cut; Photos: Getty Images

Halloween is still three-plus weeks away; are you ready for Christmas?? No? Me neither! I refuse! The year already flies by way too quickly and I am already always confused about what day it is; please don’t fish-cannon me into 2022. And yet, here’s Khloé Kardashian, effectively stealing two months from my life in her attempt to force me into a festive cheerful pajama suit before my time. What? Why.

Because Khloé designed a Krismas PJ line for the Children’s Place, and presumably the Kardashian machine wants to give you ample time to buy. Khloé announced the drop in an Instagrammed ad featuring herself, her mother (Kris Jenner), her grandmother (MJ), her daughter (True Thompson), and her daughter’s doll’s creepy hands (often seen lurking in the corners of this video). Per Yahoo, the jammies in question “are available for both kids and adults in a variety of holiday-themed patterns like Buffalo plaid, Santa prints, and candy canes.”

“Who’s ready for a Khloé Christmas?!” Khloé asks in the caption.

No! Lady, I am not! It is too early for this shit, both in that the date is October 8, and the time is 10:04 a.m. Christmas won’t happen for two-plus months, jerks. CVS hasn’t even smashed “play” on Mariah Carey yet — traditionally, the annual opening of the holiday season. You may talk to me about snowman sleepwear starting on the day after Thanksgiving. Thank you and good day.

It’s Too Early for This