The internet is dark and full of billionaires tweeting stupid things.
So come and rest your weary soul here in an excerpt from a recent interview with Keanu Reeves. Today, Esquire published an interview with the actor ahead of the forthcoming Matrix sequel, The Matrix Revolutions. Reeves, per usual, exudes a quiet charm throughout the entirety of the interaction. He scrolls on his phone for a little too long — relatable! — looking for a text message exchange with Matrix costar Carrie-Anne Moss. He is gracious with people who try to stop him for a selfie. (Unrelatable, but still charming!) However, it is this little anecdote, shared by Sandra Bullock — Reeves’s co-star in Speed and The Lake House — that takes the cake.
Please, if you will, enjoy this story of Keanu Reeves doing the most Keanu Reeves thing he could do:
A year or so after Speed came out, Bullock and Keanu were hanging out, talking about whatever, and somehow the subject of Champagne and truffles came up, which is not really a subject at all, but Bullock said, offhand, that she had never had Champagne and truffles. A nothing comment. “Really?” Keanu said. “Nope, never had ’em,” Bullock said. The conversation wandered to other topics.
Sorry to interrupt, but I just want to make sure you’re seated for this next part. Are you seated? Great. Continue.
A few days later, Bullock was sitting in the living room of the little house she had bought — her first house — with a girlfriend. They were painting their nails. She heard an engine outside, which turned out to be Keanu’s motorcycle. He rang the doorbell, and Bullock opened the door to find him there with flowers, Champagne, and truffles. He said, “I just thought you might want to try Champagne and truffles, to see what it’s like.” He sat on the couch. Bullock poured some Champagne, and they opened the truffles. Keanu put his hands out, without a word, and Bullock painted his nails black, same as hers.
Not to be dramatic, but I would watch a feature-length film re-creating this moment between Keanu and Sandra. To pull up on a motorcycle with flowers, booze, and chocolate? Unreal. Aspirational. Borderline pornographic.
Additionally, I would like to mention that I, too, have never enjoyed Champagne and truffles. Also, I’m free most nights and have an assortment of nail polishes. Something to think about, Keanu!