Quiz: How Do You Even Behave at a Holiday Party?

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Hark! How the bells, sweet silver bells, all seem to say … oh, dear God, we have to go to holiday parties again? Ding-dong, my friends! After nearly two years of avoiding holiday obligations, it’s time to figure out how to behave around friends, family, and co-workers in a festive way.

For many of us, this will be one of the first large gatherings we’ve attended since 2019. Haha! How fun! Do you remember how to engage in conversation? Greet other people? Exit quietly while no one is looking? Fear not, for I have devised a fun little quiz to help you remember how to act during any and all upcoming seasonal festivities.

Is This Okay to Do at a Holiday Party?

In case you need a refresher after many months indoors.

First of all, should you even be going to a holiday party given *gestures wildly* all of this?
Should you dress up?
Should you bring a gift for the host?
Can a vibrator be a gift?
Should you talk about current events? Movies? Fan theories on Pete Davidson and Kim Kardashian West's relationship?
Should you set your racist relatives' trees on fire?
Is a dozen cookies too many cookies to eat at a holiday party?
Can you sneak away to the bathroom to stare at your phone for an hour?
Can you leave early?

Quiz: How Do You Even Behave at a Holiday Party?