It has recently come to my attention that some people don’t like eggnog. This information is news to me. I was under the impression that most people agree eggnog is a delicious seasonal treat to be consumed no more than once a year. I was wrong, though: Many, many mean blogs have confirmed that eggnog is a decidedly unpopular Christmas drink.
To which I ask, Why??? Too creamy? Too seasonal? Too perfect to pair with bourbon, whipped cream, and a sprinkle of cinnamon? Upon further research, it looks as if people have a few main reasons for disliking the drink, none of which stand up to scrutiny. I have addressed them all below.
Eggnog looks like mayonnaise.
My roommate, who, it turns out, is an eggnog hater (don’t worry, I am MOVING OUT!!!!), likened eggnog to mayonnaise. I understand the yellowy, custardy resemblance, but eggnog is sweet and mayonnaise is not. Actually, the more I think about mayonnaise and eggnog together, the grosser I feel, so let’s move on. I will just say this: Eggnog is not mayonnaise. End of story.
Eggnog is warm dairy.
I’m aware that some people serve eggnog hot. This is frankly an injustice to eggnog and probably the reason so many dislike it. Eggnog is meant to be served cold, which is what makes it a uniquely good holiday drink. (The only other cold holiday drink I can think of is coquito, which is much less reviled, so I don’t need to defend that one.) Many people say, “Why drink eggnog when hot chocolate is right there? Or mulled wine?” I’ll tell you why: A chilled drink is nearly always better than a hot one, especially when you’re sweating it out in your nicest cashmere turtleneck at a crowded Christmas party. Eggnog is a rare hybrid of refreshing and cozy. Plus, you don’t have to wait for it to cool down and then risk burning your tongue anyway, a mistake I have made far too many times with hot chocolate.
Eggnog is bad for your health.
I really don’t want to address this one because, come on. It’s true that copious amounts of heavy cream and sugar are not the best things for your body. But many fun things are, at the very least, questionable for your health, so if you are refraining from drinking eggnog because of wellness, I don’t have much to say besides … good for you, I guess? If you are concerned about the salmonella of it all, I’d point out that there are also raw eggs in carbonara (delicious), cookie dough (we all eat it), and those really good frothy cocktails. Live a little!
Eggnog from a carton is bad.
Some food bloggers say anyone who doesn’t like eggnog should try making it from scratch and see what they think. While I find the supermarket carton eggnog perfectly sufficient, homemade eggnog did manage to win over my misguided roommate, who had never been served eggnog the proper way.
Eggnog is too heavy.
Let me tell you the real key to enjoying eggnog: Have one glass. A lot of people grossed out by eggnog have at some point had way too much of it and, soon after, felt the mass of dairy sloshing around in their stomach like an ominous blob of regret. I’ve been there. If you have a single glass of eggnog, you can avoid this feeling. You may want another the second you’re done, but trust me. Wait it out.
If you’re still skeptical, consider this: Even Gwyneth Paltrow, who has built an entire empire based on her own good taste, has advised her followers not to “nog it till you’ve tried it.” Give eggnog a chance, you cowards!