Imagine Sexting Your Dad by Accident

What has this little slime puppy gotten himself into? Photo: HBO

Succession is full of terrible people doing terrible things. There has been lying, cheating, various forms of assault, manipulation, and emotional abuse all against the backdrop of corporate corruption and familial dysfunction. But on Sunday night, during the penultimate episode of season three, we witnessed one of the most heinous acts yet: Roman accidentally sending a dick pic to his father, Logan.

In a matter of minutes, Roman goes from celebrating a Waystar-GoJo victory and the small taste of his father’s approval to mistakenly texting his dad a picture of his penis alongside the words, “Dinner to celebrate, Gerri? Eat this.” It was the pinnacle of Schadenfreude; painful to watch, impossible to look away from. It was awful and unexpected and exactly the sort of thing you’d expect Roman to do.

I suppose it is what we all deserve after 28 episodes of us begging, pleading for Roman and his “mommy girlfriend” Gerri Kellman to please, for the love of God, get freaky. We all know their palpable sexual tension is wrong, which makes their Oedipal “Will they, won’t they?” all the more enticing. And then … he sent that text. Having the possibility of these two characters maybe, finally consummating their cursed union teased and then quickly ripped away by the writers was like … being in the mood to sext someone and accidentally sending it to your parents.

There are plenty of awful things that have happened on Succession: Kendall witnessing (if not aiding in) the death of the busboy, Logan hitting his grandson with a can of cranberry sauce on Thanksgiving, Tom being made to swallow his own load. But none of these things feels nearly as relatable as what happened Sunday night. Who among us hasn’t contemplated the nauseating possibility of texting someone a nude only to accidentally send it to your parents? Just writing that sentence makes me want to die.

So, where do Gerri and Roman go from here? Certainly not the bedroom. Perhaps it’s for the best that this forbidden romance is all but squashed at this point. I don’t think I can handle any more of Roman’s penis popping up in places where it shouldn’t be.

Imagine Sexting Your Dad by Accident