I’m not sure why I had higher hopes for The Rock. I must have, though, because hearing Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson call billionaire Jeff Bezos his “tequila-drinking buddy” at last night’s People’s Choice Awards made me go, Huh. I assumed a year of MGK and Megan Fox would have made me numb to unexpected duos, and yet, here we are!
Bezos presented Johnson with the award for People’s Champion, an honor that has also been bestowed upon Pink, Tyler Perry, and Bryan Stevenson, the lawyer depicted in Just Mercy. From what I gather, the award recognizes famous people with achievements in philanthropy and activism? Regardless, The Rock won this year, and his apparent bestie Jeff Bezos gave him the trophy.
The first word out of Bezos’s mouth before presenting the award was, “Listen.” A counterproductive introduction as it, in fact, makes me want to do the exact opposite. He went on to describe The Rock as “larger than life … extraordinarily talented, the ultimate girl dad, strong, handsome, bald.”
(“Hey! It’s a good look!” he said. A fun little bald joke for fun little multibillionaires!) He also said he’s eaten pancakes with The Rock, which … cool. When The Rock came up to accept the award, he thanked his “good friend, Jeff,” his “tequila-drinking buddy.”
It seems this may be news to just me, as they’ve talked about their friendship before. In July, The Rock posted a picture of the two of them on the beach. In it, The Rock is wearing an Amazon shirt — a normal thing that real friends do. Still, the image of The Rock and Jeff Bezos drinking tequila and eating pancakes is … hellish. What do they discuss? Workout routines? Why do I feel like Jeff Bezos believes he looks like The Rock? Why do I feel like The Rock encourages this delusion? Most importantly, this raises the question: Who else is secretly friends with Jeff Bezos? Pete Davidson? The Olsen twins? So many questions, so few answers.