what the what

I Joost Loove Joots

Left: Pantaboots by Saint Laurent. Right: Joots by Diesel. Photo-Illustration: Saint Laurent, Diesel.

Sometimes human innovation is bad. Think: bombs, Furbys, Instagram, etc. Every so often, though, we come up with something truly brilliant, and everyone’s life is improved as a result. Take joots, for example. I’m increasingly convinced that joots are the best idea we’ve had in years, maybe ever.

What are joots? Joots are the magical combination of jeans and boots. Similar garments have been described as “pantaboots,” “pantashoes,” “poots,” and “bants” — the last two by me, personally. As their name implies, you slip them on like boots, only you pull them all the way up past your knees to your waist, like pants, because they are also pants. (Not to be confused with boots that look like pants, which also exist.) One could say they resemble waders, only they’re not waterproof and no one is wearing them to go fly fishing. (Yet.) Instead, they’re almost exclusively worn by celebrities on dates. Both Julia Fox and Kim Kardashian were photographed wearing joots and pantaboots, respectively, this week. Fox wore a gray pair of joots by Diesel on her date with Kanye West on Monday, and Kardashian seemed to wear a pair of leather pantaboots to get ice cream with Pete Davidson at Rite Aid on Tuesday.

What could it mean? A few things. First of all, Kim Kardashian has been wearing Balenciaga leggings slash boots (loogings??) for ages. She wore them to the Met Gala. She wore them on SNL. The look is well established as a Balenciaga thing (see here an example from spring 2017), and we all know that her ex Kanye West loves Balenciaga too. Maybe he suggested that Julia Fox wear a similar pair by Diesel? (The brand does have a Balenciaga-lite look happening at the moment. Diesel and Yeezy also use the same publicity company.)

Branding aside, my biggest takeaway from all this is that if both Julia Fox and Kim Kardashian — two women who seemingly have access to all the clothes in the entire world — are choosing to wear joots and pantaboots in the year 2022, I think that means they actually … like them? And if they like them, that leads me to believe they’re actually great, and not some diabolical hybrid science experiment meant to tear society apart.

Think about it. Actually, no, don’t think about it. Because that’s what it’s like to wear joots. (Or pantaboots, or whatever.) You never have to decide what shoes to wear with your pants, or what pants to wear with your shoes, because they are the same thing. You just slip on your $3,000 denim or leather tube and walk out the door … to Rite Aid.

Now that is luxury!

I Joost Loove Joots