There are a few experiences I wouldn’t wish on my own worst enemy: parallel parking, clubbing with Eric Adams, and suddenly being way too high at a wedding. This last nightmare was an unfortunate reality for 50 people at a Florida wedding in February, where the bride and her caterer allegedly conspired to serve their unsuspecting guests a weed-infused olive-oil dip, causing the event to spiral into marijuana-induced mayhem.
You might think having a surprise wedding edible sounds fun, but have you ever tried talking to your neighbor’s cousin’s uncle-in-law while stoned out of your mind? In fact, this event was so hellish that the bride, Danya Svoboda, and her caterer, Joycelyn Bryant, are facing legal charges for food tampering, the delivery of marijuana, and negligence. While reporters have been unable to contact either suspect, court documents obtained by the Washington Post revealed some truly harrowing tales from their wedding guests. One reported heading to her car thinking her heart was going to stop, while another ended up on all fours, vomiting on the floor. Others headed into the kitchen to get water after feeling unwell only to be breezily told by a staff member, “Well, there’s cannabis in the food.”
Somehow, these horrifying outcomes do not seem to have occurred as possibilities to Svoboda and Bryant, who were reportedly delighted by their little trick during the wedding. One guest remembered asking Bryant if she had just consumed edibles, at which point the caterer “giggled” and nodded her head. When she went to confirm this with Svoboda, the bride reportedly smiled before saying, “Yes.” At some point, Svoboda must have realized the gravity of her mistake, because she soon pivoted to denial, texting one guest who later asked what they’d served at the wedding, “Uggg, we have no idea, let us know if you need help with anything.”
Anyway, if you’re inviting me to your wedding anytime soon, please know I’ll be steering clear of any greenish dips. I would rather not start hallucinating while dancing to “September,” thanks very much!