Must We Force Dolly Parton to Learn About TikTok?

This will only be worth it if Doja Cat and Dolly Parton split a slice of Mexican Pizza, Lady and the Tramp–style. Photo-Illustration: The Cut; Photos: Getty Images

On Monday, Taco Bell announced that Doja Cat and Dolly Parton will be featured in a TikTok musical about Mexican Pizza, and I fear we are all to blame. Taco Bell certainly would like us to think so, as its current Twitter handle reads, “YOU BROUGHT BACK THE MEXICAN PIZZA.” Taco Bell, please stop yelling at me. I did no such thing, but I do have questions about the disappearance of the Cool Ranch Doritos taco.

Taco Bell describes Mexican Pizza: The Musical as a “satire about the ‘harrowing’ story of those who fought to bring back the Mexican Pizza” after it was briefly discontinued. I like that they put “harrowing” in quotes so we know it’s a joke. The musical will feature original music from songwriting duo Abigail Barlow and Emily Bear, who recently won a Grammy for their viral TikTok musical about Bridgerton. While there are few other details about the musical thus far, Taco Bell has shared that it will feature TikToker Victor Kunda, Dolly Parton, and Doja Cat. A fever dream of ad content!

The musical comes a little over a month after the blessed #sponcon that was Doja Cat’s Mexican Pizza “jingle.” It included lines like, “Peep my ad, search YouTube/This ain’t even Mexican food,” and Doja Cat was clear that her inspiration for writing the song was the fact that it was contractual.

Dolly Parton has also previously talked about being a fan of the Mexican Pizza, and she wasn’t even contractually obligated to do so. Parton isn’t currently on TikTok — as is her right! — though a fake Dolly Parton TikTok account was deleted last year after it amassed over 500,000 followers. Do the people want Dolly on TikTok? Of course, but she is already on Instagram, and isn’t that enough??

I think this could have all been avoided had Taco Bell heeded the paraphrased words of Dolly Parton herself: Please don’t make a Mexican Pizza musical just because you can. Regardless, Mexican Pizza: The Musical will premiere on May 26 at 8 p.m. ET on TikTok, and, unfortunately, I will probably tune in.

Must We Force Dolly Parton to Learn About TikTok?