No One Dunks on Matt Gaetz Better Than Matt Gaetz

lol. Photo: Drew Angerer/Getty Images

Today’s installment of “Why Are You Even Tweeting?” is brought to you by none other than Florida representative Matt Gaetz. In response to the leaked Supreme Court opinion that revealed the justices had voted to overturn Roe v. Wade, thousands of protesters took to the street across the country in support of abortion rights. In response to those protests, Gaetz tweeted the following: “How many of the women rallying against overturning Roe are over-educated, under-loved millennials who sadly return from protests to a lonely microwave dinner with their cats, and no bumble matches?”

If nothing else — and truly, there is nothing else — I do appreciate how succinctly Gaetz is able to prove how little he knows about so many things: who supports abortion staying legal (consistently a majority of Americans) whom he perceives to be anti-abortion (hmm, what is the opposite of “over-educated”?), and, finally, what millennial women eat and the apps they use to date. Matthew, we have DoorDash and Hinge now.

If you are unfamiliar with Gaetz, how lucky! Please, leave now lest you let this festering wound of a person take up more space in your brain. If you do need a reminder, Gaetz is currently under investigation by both the Department of Justice and House Ethics Committee for allegedly sex-trafficking a 17-year-old. (He has denied the allegations.) He reportedly had a habit of showing nude photos and videos of women he slept with to fellow members of Congress. He has also closely aligned himself with Georgia representative Marjorie Taylor Greene, who was stripped of her committee assignments by colleagues and is known for such classic hits as learning about the Holocaust in the year 2021 and her overall rampant bigotry.

Now, as penance for spending even one (1) moment thinking about Matt Gaetz, please donate to an abortion fund.

No One Dunks on Matt Gaetz Better Than Matt Gaetz