This week in news I certainly did not expect: A Princess Diana fan group on Facebook has apparently been plagued by people posting unceasingly about their masturbation schedule.
While “Princess Diana - Keep Her Memory Alive (NO TROLLS ALLOWED),” a 61,000-member group, may have started as a sincere attempt to pay tribute to the late People’s Princess, it appears to now be overrun with Gen-Z trolls making fun of middle-age Diana stans, despite its name. A quick scroll through the page, which claims in the “About” section to have been founded after a different Diana tribute group was “ruined by trolls,” reveals that nearly all the posts include intentional misspellings and involve calling Camilla Bowles “Cowmilla.” However, a recent post on the group’s page claims the trend of announcing imminent masturbation is a “reoccurring issue.”
“Please DO NOT, for the LOVE OF GOD, announce to this group when you are going to masturbate,” the post reads. “No one is going to be impressed and give you a high five (especially considering where that hand has been).” The group member who penned this plea, Jessi Cersei Loki, does not appear to be a moderator of the group but noted that anyone who shares undesired details will be “warned,” and “additional occurrences will be dealt with at the discretion of mods.”
While it’s not clear how many masturbation announcements have been cleansed from the group’s timeline, the page does include mentions of “wank statuses,” estimations on how often Diana “flicked the bean,” and a suggestion that the entire group “whack one off in memory of Ar Di on a specific day & time.” Unsurprisingly, the post condemning the masturbators, which seems to have since been deleted, only appears to have caused an explosion of new masturbation posts on the page. Luckily, even if this crackdown doesn’t pan out, there are a few (thousand) other ways to honor Princess Diana’s legacy, especially if these trolls like musical theater.