Fit Boy for President?

A beefy, denim boy. Photo: @RobertKennedyJr/Twitter

It is with great displeasure that I must draw your attention to Robert F. Kennedy Jr., the anti-vaxx nephew of John F. Kennedy, who plans to face off with Joe Biden for the Democratic presidential nomination in 2024. More confusing still, RFK Jr. is gearing up for a nonexistent primary debate by doing push-ups in jeans. Is it a homespun campaign video? A low-budget gym commercial? I don’t know for sure, but watching the footage, I feel much like RFK Jr.’s legs encased in their denim prison: sweaty and desperate to get the hell out of here.

Needless to say, the vibes are way off in this scene. Where exactly is this makeshift outdoor gym, and is it carpeted? What kind of psycho exercises in both jeans and a belt? And who, pray tell, is behind the camera, taking in this leathery display of physical prowess and observing, “That’s a fit boy”?

Truly, this clip raises nothing but questions, because as far as we know, the Democratic National Committee is not sponsoring any primary debates, having already endorsed Biden’s incumbent nomination. Biden, for his part, has not made any recent claims about his ability to do back-to-back push-ups and actually has not acknowledged this supposed challenge at all. Is RFK Jr. just exuding this deeply weird Ralph Lauren Americana energy for fun? Is he courting the protein-powder vote?

Both reasonable guesses, but no: As Kennedy explained in a thread attached to the video, the push-ups were just one example of his plan to “restore America as the global example of health & well-being. Not through pills or syringes, but through character and self-discipline.” And while this guy has devoted a ton of time to talking about our collective health, it has mainly amounted to him spewing patently false information about the human body. A few examples: He has likened pandemic vaccine mandates to Nazi Germany, frequently claims vaccines cause autism, and recently cited antidepressants as the leading cause of school shootings.

Still, as evidenced by this second angle on Kennedy’s workout — in which he pumps some iron, still in belted jeans — he is indeed a fit boy. He can even do “more than 10 pushups,” as he clarified on Twitter. Does your presidential candidate even lift, bro?

Fit Boy for President?