Distinguishing oneself in the saturated market of celebrity tequila probably isn’t easy. Kendall Jenner ventured to the campuses of the American Midwest to spread the gospel of her Calabasas-inspired tequila. Those guys from Breaking Bad have resorted to bartending (at Drake’s birthday party, but still) to promote their mezcal. The Rock had to go out drinking with Jeff Bezos. “How to set ourselves apart?” was, I imagine, the big question facing Matthew McConaughey and his wife, Camila Alves McConaughey, when branding their new passion project, a line of organic tequila. The muse they ultimately landed on was, apparently, pants. But also, no pants?
To announce the launch of their liquor brand, which they are calling Pantalones Organic Tequila (the Spanish word for “pants” and also, according to their website, slang for “guts”), Matthew and Camila filmed a commercial in which they zoom through luscious fields of agave on motorcycles, naked from the waist down, their privates pixelated into oblivion:
The rationale behind this creative choice is murky at best — McConaughey thoughtfully ponders via voiceover, “When did tequila stop being … tequila?” to which Camila adds, “Where’s the fun?” And yet the subsequent image of the couple going full Winnie the Pooh at high speed through a dusty, dry landscape does not bring to mind “fun” at all. Instead, I am overcome with concerns about chafing. But the McConaugheys plow on, adding, “Pantalones Organicó. Please, do not keep yours on.” With all due respect, I think I will?