what are those?

Ron DeSantis Is Reaching

Photo: Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images

If you give a man a Hinge profile, he’ll lie about his height. If you give a petite, conservative politician a photo op, he’ll do the same. Specifically, in cowboy boots that contain (alleged) hidden heels. Looks like bigots don’t get to be short kings.

Ron DeSantis has been gallivanting around the campaign trail spreading anti-LGBT propaganda in paper-thin pants and boots with what seems like room to spare. Conspiracy theories have taken hold of social- media platforms like Twitter and TikTok about the Florida governor’s signature boots concealing four-inch platforms inside them. Stilt-truthers have begun sharing diagrams, hypothesizing where DeSantis’s feet begin and end, where his toes are hitting inside his shoes, how high his own heels are actually off the ground, and why the tips of his boots curl up so horrifically. It takes a great man to stand in his truth, but it takes a significantly less-great man to stand on his tippy toes.

Photo: Joe Raedle/Getty Images

Why does this matter? Well, apparently taller candidates do better, and U.S. presidents have been getting taller and taller, according to a paper published by psychologists at the University of Groningen in the Netherlands, who conducted a study on the role that height has played a in American presidential elections. A paper that perhaps one Floridian famous for banning reading materials, you know, read.

Or not, who knows. In any case, the internet is having a field day and we are here for it:

“A debate question should be for Ron DeSantis to take off one boot,” wrote Matt Ortega.

Sure, it’s not illegal to lie about your height, but if DeSantis gets to bully other people for wearing what they want to wear, we, at the very least, get to ask a few questions.

Ron DeSantis Is Reaching