It’s almost time for the Super Bowl. Do you know which snack you’re bringing to your friend’s apartment? Less importantly, do you know who’s playing and when? Never fear, we have anticipated all of your questions and have all (read: most of) of the answers.
When is the Super Bowl?
Mark your calendar: the Super Bowl is on February 11, and kickoff is at 6:30 p.m. ET.
Who is playing?
The Chiefs will be taking on the San Francisco 49ers. If you don’t follow football, you should know that this is kind of the boring outcome. We saw the same matchup in 2020, when the Chiefs beat the Niners. Who should you root for? There isn’t really an underdog here, so listen to your heart and pick your allegiances based on how charmed you are by Travis Kelce.
How do I watch?
My advice is to watch it at someone else’s house so you don’t have to deal with it. If you must know, the Super Bowl is airing on CBS. Luckily, that means that it will be streaming live on Paramount+. (Ask your friend who loves Survivor for their password.)
Who’s doing the halftime show?
This year, Usher will be taking the stage at halftime. You have got to give it up to whoever makes this decision: Usher is an inspired choice. If videos from his Vegas residency are any indication, we will all come away from this halftime show with a new lease on life.
The booker also killed it when hiring the pregame performers. Reba McEntire is singing the national anthem, Andra Day is singing “Lift Every Voice and Sing,” and Post Malone will return to his folksy roots to sing “America the Beautiful.” Coachella wishes it had this lineup.
Who’s joining Usher for the halftime show?
While nothing official has been announced, I think it’s safe to assume that Ludacris and Lil Jon will be there to perform “Yeah!” The two rappers (and Taraji P. Henson) starred in a seven-minute short film produced by Apple Music to promote the show. Usher even told Entertainment Tonight that it would be “foolish” to not perform the hit song while Ludacris and Lil Jon are both in Vegas. Additionally, TMZ reports that Alicia Keys will be joining Usher, almost certainly to sing “My Boo.”
There are no hints as to who else might be there, but I hope he serenades a woman like he did at his Vegas residency. Maybe Keke Palmer can get another go.
What about the part I care about (the commercials)?
The great thing about the Super Bowl in 2024 is that you don’t even have to watch the game in order to watch the commercials. They’re basically all out already. There are a lot of mediocre ones, so just watch the best ones.
Will Taylor Swift be there?
This question is so complicated. The short answer is: Probably? The Eras Tour is starting back up in February with a run of shows in Tokyo. Her last show there is on February 10, which you might recall from one of the earlier questions as being one day before the Super Bowl. That means that when she gets offstage at around 11:30 p.m. in Tokyo, she will have to immediately hop on her private jet for a nearly 12-hour flight to Vegas, where the game is being played. If my time-zone math is correct (and it very well might not be), if she leaves Tokyo at midnight on Sunday she would arrive in Vegas at around 7 p.m. on Saturday with almost a whole day to rest up before the Super Bowl. So, technically, it is possible. It sounds like hell, but she did not ask for my opinion on the matter.
In the event of some major weather event preventing Swift from getting to the game, don’t fret. The Super Bowl is always a magnet for celebs, even when it’s in Glendale. If I learned anything from the Kardashians, it’s that famous people love to bop over to Vegas for the flimsiest of reasons. For the Super Bowl? Vegas might need to add a new airport for the influx of private jets it’ll be seeing that weekend.
Where is Donna Kelce going to sit?
You’d think the answer would be as simple as, “She’s sitting with Taylor Swift in the suite.” Apparently that’s not the case. Donna has said that she thinks she’s sitting in the stands, because the suites are too expensive. If Ziploc doesn’t put Donna in a suite, I swear to Goodell …
What should I bring to the party?
Seven-layer dip. It’s easy, it’s delicious, and people love it. If that’s not stirring your spirit, I recommend pigs in a blanket.
This post has been updated.