Before we dive into pickup lines, I’d like to invite you to alter your mindset. Think of these not as “pickup lines,” but as potential conversation starters. Whether you’re on a dating app or in public (once stay-at-home orders end), it’s important to be aware of boundaries, and to be cognizant of when people are trying to make you aware of them. It’s possible this person does not want you to talk to her at all. If she does, though, good for you; here are a few funny, out-of-the box ways to say hello and make her laugh.
1. Are you Steve from Sex and the City? Because even though I’m sure you have faults, you seem like pretty much the best of the bunch.
2. I was just wondering — do you have a pet, and if so could you tell me about him or her in great detail?
3. Hey, I’m sorry to bother you, but I couldn’t help but notice you sitting here and, well, I was wondering — what do you think is the best Real Housewives franchise and why?
4. Hello, if I had my pick, the Democratic nominee would have been Elizabeth Warren.
5. Hey, am I one of those guys on the sidewalk trying to talk to you about the environment? Because I’m sorry to bother you, but I’d like to talk to you if that’s okay.
6. I must be a snowflake, because I’ve fallen for you, and because what I believe in terms of human rights falls to the far left of the political spectrum (and sometimes those on the far right will call people with these beliefs “snowflakes” as a pejorative).
7. Are you from Tennessee? If no, where are you from?
8. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to buy you a drink. You don’t have to talk to me after I do it.
9. Hey, I just wanted to let you know in case you think I’m cute, that if you allow me to have a conversation with you I will try very hard to not be annoying.
10. Hey, I have a dog. I think it’s important for you to know immediately that I’m able to handle a little responsibility and care for something other than myself.
11. It’s a good thing I have my library card because I am totally checking out whichever book you recommend, preferably by a female author.
12. I was wondering if you had an extra heart, because mine was just stolen! Haha. Just kidding. Anyway. I’m sorry. How are you doing?
13. Hey, do you want to talk about Gilmore Girls? I’m curious if you have an opinion about which of Rory’s boyfriends was the best.
14. Hey, do you want to talk about Gilmore Girls? I’m curious if you, like me, think Lorelai should’ve ended up with Jason Stiles.
15. Do you remember the reality show Gallery Girls? I was curious if you had any opinions about it.
16. Hey, I promise I’ll never talk to you about sketch comedy.
17. Hey, if it’s okay I’d like to introduce myself and let you know that I don’t play video games, or I at least would never play them around you.
18. Hey, my name is [YOUR NAME]. If you think you might want like to talk to me, you can tell me your name. If not, just say nothing and I’ll walk away in about four seconds.
19. Are you my phone? Because I’ve been staring at you too much and I know that I shouldn’t and I’m trying to stop, I’m sorry.
20. What is your favorite skin-care product? I’ll listen for however long you want to talk about it.
21. Hey, I just wanted to say that I think you look nice and if you wanted to talk to me about your job, I promise I’d listen and not say anything about my own.
22. Before I say anything else — yes, I do have a podcast but I’ll never say a word about it.
23. Do you want to read a pickup line that I read online? It’s, “Do you like Star Wars? Because Yoda only one for me!” Please be honest — would that have worked on you if I said it?
24. Hey, can I buy you a drink? Also I support Medicare for All.
25. Hey, I was just wondering — did you listen to the new Fiona Apple? I like it a lot, but I’m more interested to know how you feel about it.
26. Aren’t you so happy for Stassi and Beau?
27. I’m just getting into Real Housewives of Atlanta. Have you seen it?
28. Hey, I know we don’t know each other, but I just want to say I’m sorry that you have to get periods and I wish men had to get them instead.
29. Hey, I know we don’t know each other, but I just want to say I think it’s really messed up that women routinely get paid less for doing the same work as men, particularly because they often do a better job at it.
30. Hey, I know we don’t know each other, but — actually, nevermind. I’m going to be over there if you decide you want to talk to me.