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The 20 Best Sex Gifts to Give (and Get)

Photo-Illustration: by The Cut; Photos: Retailers

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A sexy gift can be both exciting and surprisingly appropriate for a lot of occasions. Whether you’re looking to get your partner something spicy for a holiday or wanting to give your friend a fun wedding gift, we spoke with sex therapists and experts to find the best toys and gadgets on the market. Unsure where to even begin?

How to choose the best sex and wellness gift

First step: tailor it to them

Sex and dating coach Myisha Battle suggests approaching it as you would any other gift: “Selecting a sex gift for someone can be super fun, especially if you have their desires and taste in mind.” However, if you feel a tad awkward asking your partner or friends what type of toys they like, there are plenty of other ways to shop.

“When in doubt, go with something sexy that isn’t a sex toy, like a blindfold, massage oils, nipple cream, or oral-sex lip gloss,” says sex educator Dirty Lola. If you are specifically trying to buy a sex toy, she recommends keeping it simple with a bullet vibrator or straightforward masturbation sleeve. “These basic styles work for more types of bodies over styles like rabbits or air pulse vibrators.” Sex and relationships writer and shopping expert Megan Schaltegger also shared a few of her favorite gift ideas, below.

If you’d rather play it safe

Former dominatrix and current lifestyle domme Venus Cuffs says, “I’ve learned it is not always great to assume what someone would like because you truly would never know,” and suggests a gift card to a sex store if you really have no idea what they’d be comfortable with. Above all, our experts recommended making sure it is safe to use for their body before you buy it. (Hint: look out for phrases like “body-safe” or “food-grade silicone.”)

Below, the 20 best sex gifts to give and get, according to dominatrixes, educators, and enthusiasts.

The Best Vibrators

The Pulsing One

Stronic Surf

“I recommend this vibrator all the time,” says Jimanekia Eborn, a sexual-assault and trauma expert and comprehensive sex educator. “I am a huge fan of the fact that it thrusts and I would give it to someone if I knew they liked internal penetration.”

The Wearable One

This sleek vibrator necklace is Eborn’s favorite thing to gift because it’s the ultimate conversation piece. “When folks find out you are wearing it you are a HIT,” she says. While the vibrator is only 3.8 inches long, the 4k gold or silver plating make it a statement around your neck. “I love wearable toys that you can have at your beck and call whenever you are ready.”

The Most Powerful Vibrator

“If I knew someone was really into toys with strong vibrations, I would definitely gift them one of these,” says Dirty Lola. “I’m a big fan of wand vibrators. I like a lot of power and deep rumbly vibrations, and Le Wand delivers both.” And who wouldn’t want a hot-pink toy?

The Hyperfocused One

Lelo Sona 2 Cruise
From $112
From $112

Sex therapist Kate Balestrieri recommends this sonic clitoris vibrator for those who really know what they like, or have never really experienced a clitoral orgasm before. Unlike other vibrators, the Sona 2 uses gentle sonic waves instead of conventional vibrations. With twelve different settings, this may ruin all other vibes for them.

The One That Feels Like Skin

Cuffs loves gifting this toy because of the texture. “It feels like skin and it feels amazing,” she says. Made from soft-touch silicone, this vibrator can bend and flex for comfortable stimulation, and has ten different speed options. Plus, it’s waterproof.

The Unconventional One

“I love the Tenga Iroha line for vulva-havers, especially those who shy away from vibrators that are more phallic shaped or just like stylish design. These vibes are discreet and could be mistaken for something else entirely,” says Battle. “I really like the Tori, which is bird-shaped and can be used for external or internal stimulation, but manages to fit in the palm of your hand.”

The Best Sex Toy for Couples

My go to wedding gifts lately have been sex toys and I usually go for one of the fancier couples toys like the We-Vibe Sync,” says Dirty Lola. The ten-function couple’s vibrator can be worn hands-free during sex, is waterproof, and has a remote control that can be used for long-distance partners.

The One for Control

Dame Fin

If you want to offer up full control to your partner, the Fin vibrator is the answer. “This small, versatile vibrator fits conveniently between your fingertips for added control for you or your partner, ” says Schaltegger.

Other Toys and Accessories

For the Anal Newbie

For an anal newbie, Balestrieri recommends this five-piece set. Not only does it include three butt plugs, a lubricant applicator, and an anal douche, but it has an anal 101 educational booklet to help ease any nerves.

For an Extra-Special Massage

“I love gifting massage candles,” says Cuffs, along with an array of other accessories that people may not think about incorporating into their sex life. Considering this candle contains skin-softening ingredients like jojoba and soybean oils (not to mention smells like pink pepper, gurjun balsam, and cedarwood), we’re pretty sure it’ll be something everyone is willing to try once. And if they don’t like it, it’s another candle.

An Egg Masturbator

Tenga Egg
From $12
From $12
Photo: Retailer

“For penis-havers I recommend a simple masturbator, like the Tenga Egg. With different internal textures, these can add fun and variety to any sex sesh,” says Battle. “Masturbators can be fun for solo play or with a partner who likes to watch!”

For Your BDSM-Curious Friends

“If I really want to shock someone (especially for anniversaries), I love to gift bags full of BDSM toys,” says Cuffs. “While keeping it hot and fresh in the bedroom is often thought of as something that will prevent breakups … that is so boring. Keep it hot so you both enjoy the sex you are having.”

A Very Realistic Gift

Photo: Courtesy of vendor

While it may not be the sexiest gift on the list, good lube is hard to find — and important. This aloe-based lube from Dame is doctor-approved, pH-balanced, and toy-safe, making it the least worrisome sex gift you could give.

A Beginner Cock Ring

This best-selling cock ring is made with soft and stretchy silicone for comfort, but it still provides enough grip to do the job. This is a great straightforward gift to try it out if the penis-haver on your list is new to toys.

For All the Angles

Take things to the next level (or angle) with a sex pillow. “This ultra-comfortable sex pillow is perfect for experimenting with different angles and positions,” says Schaltegger. “But, it’s still discreet enough to fit right in with your bedroom decor.”

Set the Mood

Try out Esther Perel’s “Where Should We Begin?” game during an at-home date night for an emotional closeness that will help lead to physical intimacy, too.

An Herbal Aphrodisiac

Heading back to your place for a nightcap? Try an herbal aphrodisiac to set the mood.

Dress-Up Games

We’ll let the men have a moment to dress up, too. This silk robe is giving Hugh Hefner in a good way.

For When It’s Time to Strip Down

Set the scene to seduce the body and mind with intimacy bath salts, powered by CBD and cacao.

To Escalate Date Night

Pop one of these on before dinner, and you probably won’t even make it to nightcap drinks.

Our Experts:

  • Myisha Battle, sex and relationships coach and author of This is Supposed to be Fun
  • Dirty Lola, sex educator and host
  • Venus Cuffs, former dominatrix and current lifestyle domme
  • Megan Schaltegger, sex and relationships writer with bylines in Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and PopSugar
The 20 Best Sex Gifts to Give (and Get)