Absolute Disaster Kyrsten Sinema to Retire

Senate Votes Jan 9
Photo: Tom Williams/CQ-Roll Call, Inc via Getty Images

Senator Kyrsten Sinema has finally called it quits. At long last, one of our nation’s most annoying politicians — and absurd dressers — has accepted defeat but not without kicking Arizona voters on her way out. On Tuesday, the embattled independent announced she would not seek reelection rather than stick out a three-way race, attributing her departure to those voters who choose “to retreat farther to their partisan corners.”

“I love Arizona, and I am so proud of what we’ve delivered,” Sinema said in a video posted to X. “Because I choose civility, understanding, listening, working together to get stuff done, I will leave the Senate at the end of this year.”

Trying to parse Sinema’s political legacy is like trying to extract meaning from a toddler’s fridge doodles. The former Green Party member was voted into office as a Democrat in 2018 — the first non-Republican to win an Arizona Senate seat since 1994, according to The Guardian — only to shape-shift into a registered Independent in neon-pink zebra stripes in 2022. That same year, Sinema bucked the Democratic Party’s attempts at filibuster reform, endangering reproductive rights and losing favor with “pro-choice” groups like EMILY’s List in one fell swoop. And how could we forget the senator’s mockery of a “no” vote on raising the national minimum wage?

Still, perhaps Sinema will best be remembered for her inability to post to Close Friends on Instagram or her purported use of campaign dollars to fund her marathon-running habit and Champagne lifestyle. Per the New York Post, Sinema spent more than $20,000 on wine in 2021 and 2022, and her Getting Stuff Done PAC spent around $2,000 on “event supplies” and “meeting meals” (otherwise known as Probably Not Getting That Much Stuff Done). She seemed to spend more time selling used pairs of Badgley Mischka stilettos on Facebook Marketplace and entering glamping giveaways than trying to enshrine federal abortion protections.

At the very least, Sinema will seemingly have more time on her hands to pursue her real passions, representing the interests of Arizona Democrats apparently not included. Now, she can freely hawk 4.5-inch heels, $25 trucker hats, and $60 Lululemon raincoats, all “in great condition” — unlike the state of our electoral system. Happy glamping, Senator.

Absolute Disaster Kyrsten Sinema to Retire