sex diaries

The Reality-TV Producer Sleeping With a Guitar Player

Photo-Illustration: by Marylu Herrera

New York Magazine’s Sex Diaries series asks anonymous city dwellers to record a week in their sex lives — with comic, tragic, often sexy, and always revealing results. The column, which began in 2007, is the basis of a new docuseries on HBO.

This week, a woman moves to New York to get over her ex, only to find new men with new issues: 26, single, Manhattan.


9:10 a.m. Wake up wondering which box my coffee maker is in. I just moved from L.A. into a studio apartment in the East Village. I’m here for a work project — I’m a producer at a reality-TV production company — but I also really needed a change. I was partying too hard, and there was this guy there who I couldn’t quit. He was fucking me over right and left, ghosting me, really taking me for granted. The sex was so good that I always went back to him, but after two years of that, I decided to move away. I wanted to quit him for good and meet someone else. I’m on a mission!

10 a.m. After tearing through every packing box I finally find the coffee maker.

2 p.m. I know the city pretty well because I went to NYU. It’s nice to meander the streets and hit up my favorite cafés and shops. I’m eager to reconnect with old friends, too, and text some friends about a get-together tomorrow night.

6 p.m. Have dinner with my best friend from college, who still lives here. She’s kind of a mess. Her boyfriend has convinced her that it’s better to be in an open relationship, so she’s searching for people to sleep with just to spite him. It’s all pretty messy, but that’s what your 20s are for, right? I tell her I’m here for it. We each have two margaritas and head into the streets of Nolita.

9 p.m. We’re hanging with some cuties at a bar, and I’m kind of into one of them. His name is Wolf. He’s a musician and possibly a dirtbag. Can’t get a good read on him.

11 p.m. Making out with Wolf out on the street. He’s aggressive in a great way — pulling me close, kissing with a ton of tongue. I totally want to fuck him, but instead I put my number into his phone and call an Uber home.


9 a.m. Coffee maker is ready to go!

10 a.m. Thinking about Wolf. I try to Google him but all I know is his first name, which is probably not his real name, and that he’s a guitar player. Then I remember the college he went to, and ta-da! I have Wolf’s entire life story. Online he appears to be a respectable human being. Let’s see if he texts me.

2 p.m. Realize that I did not think about my ex too much yesterday. That’s a good thing. Yay.

5 p.m. I unpack my clothes to figure out what to wear for this “Welcome home” party I’m throwing myself tonight.

5:30 p.m. There’s nothing, so I run down the street to a consignment store I like and buy a long, vintage dress. It’s kind of see-through, and I’m down with it.

7 p.m. I’ve reserved a private room at a Tribeca restaurant to have about 15 friends meet me. I told everyone they could bring whoever they want so I have no idea who will come. If Wolf texts — which he has not — I’ll tell him to swing by, too.

9 p.m. At the restaurant. Friends are rolling in. It’s great to see them. We’re all in our mid-20s and everyone is here to have fun and get fucked up. Someone has coke. I’m thrilled about that. A bunch of people brought friends. Everyone is so attractive.

10 p.m. I’m so high on life (and coke!). Loving this. I’m flirting with everyone. Even girls. I consider myself bisexual even though I mostly sleep with men. I did have a girlfriend for a brief moment in college, but I just didn’t like the sex with her.

11 p.m. There is a friend of a friend, Sam, who is flirting with me. He’s some kind of low-level Wall Street bro. I find him charming, and he’s definitely hitting on me.

12:10 a.m. A handful of us go to another bar. I’m very drunk now. Sam comes with me to pee, and while we’re waiting in line, we start to kiss. He’s a very dainty kisser. I’m not into it. I decide we have no sexual chemistry and blow him off from this point on.

12:15 a.m. While I’m peeing, I look at my phone and see that Wolf has texted. I’m pretty sloppy so I decide to hold off on a booty call, even though I’d love nothing more than to fuck his brains out. Then I head home.


8 a.m. Wake up and immediately start onboarding for this project I’m working on. Hours of corporate bullshit on Zoom. I do love what I do, but when you’re in production it’s not all fun and games. I’m so hungover and hate everything and everyone right now.

2 p.m. Order the world’s largest order of Indian food and two cans of soda. Work covers my lunch expenses so that’s one thing to smile about.

4 p.m. I text Wolf and say that I’d love to see him again.

5 p.m. He texts, “Tonight?” but I tell him I have plans. I just want to sleep.

9 p.m. I fall asleep on the floor. To be fair, I was lying on a yoga mat.


9 a.m. I have to get groceries. I can’t live on take out, it’s disgusting. I tell my team I have another meeting and get myself to Whole Foods.

10 a.m. In front of me in line at Whole Foods is a guy who starred in Girls. He was someone’s boyfriend, I forget her name. He’s cute and I want to flirt, but it’s so weird with celebrities — do they want the attention or not? I’m getting the vibe that he wouldn’t mind, and I start to imagine having sex with him. When I snap out of it, he’s paying for his groceries and I’m sent to a cashier on the other side of the aisle. Damn it!

3 p.m. Wolf texts me asking if I like music. That’s a pretty ridiculous question. Just to be funny, I write back: “No.”

4 p.m. He writes back “LOL,” then sends a link to a show he wants to go to tonight. The truth is, while I do like music, I don’t love seeing shows. I’m also not so into guys who love going to shows. But I don’t overthink it and tell him I’ll meet him outside the venue.

5 p.m. I really don’t want to go to the show. It doesn’t sound fun.

6 p.m. I ask him if it’s cool if I bail. I blame work. He seems pretty chill about it. I make a mental note to be upfront about things like this in future.

9 p.m. At home getting my little apartment together. I bought some plants and wine. I display my cute little vibrator collection on a window sill. It’s almost charming.

10 p.m. I take one of the vibrators out and start to use it. I have a sick imagination and imagine being tied up to my new bed with someone gagging me with a strap-on while someone else goes down on me until I come.

11 p.m. Wonder if Wolf is having fun. I text him, and he writes back, “You’re missing a great show.” Yeah, yeah, who cares.


9 a.m. Meeting some work people for breakfast today. There’s only one person here who is new to me, another producer, named Theo. He’s very cute — hot and dorky with glasses. Then he mentions his girlfriend. Figures …

12 p.m. I’m back home with a shitload to do. I’ve barely been thinking about my ex. This is excellent progress!

3 p.m. Theo messages me that it was great to meet me and he’s super-pumped about this show we’re working on. Okay, this dude wants to fuck me. I message him back, just as enthusiastically. I wouldn’t hook up with someone who had a girlfriend, but what’s the harm in flirting?

5 p.m. Wolf texts, “Drinks tonight?” I’m thrilled. I say yes.

8 p.m. I meet Wolf at some trendy dive bar and he looks hot as hell waiting there for me. He doesn’t know that I know he’s a super-smart guy and comes from an interesting family that has a house on Cape Cod. I’ll let him work this artsy-bum vibe for a while.

9:30 p.m. Two margaritas later, we walk to my place, which is about five minutes away. We’re tipsy and holding hands. The sexual chemistry is intense.

10 p.m. We’re tearing each other’s clothes off before I turn on the lights. His body is beautiful. His cock is perfection. I start to suck it. He pushes me back after a few minutes. He doesn’t want to come yet. He takes out a condom and we start to fuck against one of my walls. Finally we make it to the bed. The sex is so good. It doesn’t last more than 20 minutes, but it is so, so, so good.

11 p.m. We take a shower together, then gave each other a long, affectionate hug. Then I send him on his way.


9 a.m. Wake up with a big, fat smile on my face. That was just what I needed!

11 a.m. No work today, so I get a pedicure and a ten-minute massage.

2 p.m. I text Wolf, “Oh what a night.”

5 p.m. He has not texted me back. This is just the worst feeling ever.

8 p.m. Still hasn’t texted me back. The wheels start spinning. Was I disgusting? Did I smell? Did my breath smell? I hate being single.

10 p.m. I smoke a joint to fall asleep, but it only makes things worse. It’s been a very dark night for me.


9:30 a.m. I wake up still feeling bummed. Ghosting is one thing, but the fact that he’s actively ignoring me after having sex with me? It makes me feel so paranoid. What was so gross about me?

10:30 a.m. I try to push the Wolf stuff out of my head. I have to scout a location soon and want to at least seem put together.

1 p.m. Theo is at the location. He looks cute and is super-friendly toward me, but I’m in a bad mood and don’t reciprocate.

4 p.m. The production crew is talking about getting a drink when we’re done here. I’m pretty depressed about the Wolf thing and tell them I have plans.

7 p.m. My plans include going home to draft various texts to Wolf to ask him why he’s ghosting me. I draft about 20 texts and send none of them.

9 p.m. I text Theo saying, “Did I miss anything fun?” He writes back immediately. “No! You owe me a night out!” We start to text. It’s very flirty. There are no traces of a girlfriend on his Instagram, so I’m not sure what’s up with him.

11p.m. Been texting with Theo all night about our lives and relationships. He says he does have a girlfriend but “it’s complicated.”

12 a.m. Feeling depressed about all of these guys. Thoughts of my ex start creeping up. I just wish it were easier.

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The Reality-TV Producer Sleeping With a Guitar Player