While we’ve acknowledged that time doesn’t currently exist and that you shouldn’t go outside to celebrate 4/20, you still can observe Frances McDormand’s favorite holiday from the confines of your own home. Park yourself in front of the TV and check out some of the Cut’s favorite things to watch while blissfully disconnected from reality. (Though given the FDA’s guidance earlier this month, maybe stick to edibles for now.)
I REALLY enjoyed The Emperor’s New Groove while stoned not so long ago and also Shrek. I have a hard time following movie plots even when I’m sober. So if I’m at all inebriated, I like to watch something familiar and straightforward and funny. Both of these movies are HILARIOUS if you’re even a little bit high, and there is a near-zero chance of confusion because you’ve already seen it, and Disney/DreamWorks plots are very formulaic. If it’s a good movie to put on if you’re a 16-year-old babysitter, it is also probably a good stoner movie. —Katie Heaney, senior writer
I don’t smoke, but if I did I’m certain I would watch that video of Camila Cabello and Shawn Mendes walking slowly down the street in front of paparazzi approximately 4,200 times. Watching it sober makes me FEEL high. They look like zombies. It’s simultaneously astonishing and also kind of soothing. I don’t condone their behavior, but I do think they’re moving at the correct pace. —Emilia Petrarca, fashion news writer
In honor of Nobuhiko Obayashi, who passed away earlier this month, I’d like to nominate his first feature film, House, a camp-classic horror flick that’s humorous and surreal enough to enhance any drug dalliance. Like the experience of being high itself, the film puts up little resistance to its most sensuous impulses. A sunset is saturated with the fantasy hues of advertising, scenes freeze, spin, and slow-fade, the original premise of idealistic schoolgirls staying in a haunted house is the final plot device one can be sure of. It all has something to do with a cat. —Hannah Gold, writer
I don’t get high anymore, but when I did, I liked to watch Brad Pitt movies. This started, of course, because the losers I was smoking with wanted to watch Fight Club. “How stupid,” I thought, until I realized that being high and staring at Brad Pitt’s angelic face is an activity with merit unto itself. After that, I watched Troy, Thelma and Louise, and (once) Moneyball. I have no idea what happened in any of them! But I can tell you he looked absolutely miraculous! Please try this. —Sangeeta Singh-Kurtz, senior writer
When you’re high, there is simply nothing better to watch than nature documentaries like Our Planet or Blue Planet. Anything with planet in the name, really. These docs have everything: bright colors, cute animals, gorgeous scenery, easy-to-follow story lines, Sir David Attenborough’s voice. David Attenborough could host a Comedy Central roast and it would be the most soothing thing on television. —Madeleine Aggeler, senior writer
I suggest watching The Cat Returns, an under-the-radar Studio Ghibli movie from 2002. I imagine the reason that it’s under the radar is because it is completely deranged! (I loved it, to be clear.) It follows a teen girl who rescues a random cat from getting hit by a truck; he, of course, turns out to be the prince of Cat Kingdom. As a reward, she is brought to the mythical cat-land to marry him (she does not want to do this). The pacing is bizarre, as is the sense of stakes — no one seems quite worried enough that she might end up in an arranged marriage with a house pet? And the cats all have psychotic personalities? But, most importantly, the Cat King is one of those cats with a smushed-in face and eyes that point in different directions. I cannot recommend this film enough! —Callie Beusman, news editor
My new favorite stoned watch is the original Melrose Place. The nighttime soap was something I watched when I was a kid — too young to remember it and too young to watch it in the first place. After getting stoned over the weekend, I watched the first five episodes of the first season (which has 32 episodes!). This is before the show gets into the real batshit drama that it’s well known for, but I still found it both meditative and hilarious. Try it, and let the accidental pregnancies and art-grifting subplots lull you into a ’90s–Los Angeles state of mind. —Kerensa Cadenas, senior culture editor
