“I had a decision to make and I needed to make it pretty quickly: When was the moment to run to the bathroom?”
“I was really into it — the little hint of danger was exciting. That’s when I heard the front door open.”
“I was frozen in place, trying my best not to vomit.”
“I told my colleague that I had to cut out early to go see a man about his very large dick. It was my Mount Everest, and I intended to climb it.”
“I excused myself to squat on the floor of his bathroom and search my vagina.”
“There was no physical warning. There was only a moment in which I wasn’t pissing the bed, and the moment in which I was.”
So what should single women do?
I’ve become a true believer.
Openness and sex positivity be damned.
Considering alternatives when you’re sick of swiping.
It’s the ideal tool.
The very concept of horniness seemed alien and impossible.
Trying to “have it all” while dating means hauling it all around with you.
It’s because you’ve given him a stupid nickname.
Do it before you’re both bloated and drunk!
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