¡Hola Papi!

What started as a joke (What if ‘Dear Abby’ were a gay Mexican man on Grindr?) has since become an invaluable resource for tens of thousands of readers of this preeminent LGBTQ+ advice column by John Paul Brammer. He is also an illustrator and the author of the essay collection Hola Papi: How to Come Out in a Walmart Parking Lot and Other Life Lessons. Brammer began his career writing for The Guardian, NBC News, and Teen Vogue. He also writes and illustrates for outlets such as the Washington Post, Guernica, Catapult, and many more.


‘Is My Crush Just Leading Me On?’

When a guy is interested, it tends to be pretty obvious.

More From ‘¡Hola Papi!’

  1. ‘Will I Ever Meet My Soul Mate?’I believe in true love. Do I believe in soul mates? No. Absolutely not.
  2. ‘I’m Sad Over a Relationship That Never Even Happened’It’s human to get attached to your daydreams. The thing about “almost relationships” is they are 99 percent fantasy.
  3. ‘I’m So Jealous of My Hot Friend’We can learn to look at ourselves in such a way that we see someone worthy of love, happiness, and affection.
  4. ‘I Have a Good Life. I’m Happy. Why Isn’t That Enough?’You need to strike a balance between fantasy and reality: Someone probably isn’t going to waltz into your life and fix everything for you.
  5. ‘Things Could Be Worse for Me, and I Feel Guilty’Happiness can and does happen in a world of hurt. It has to. What other world would it happen in?
  6. ‘I Slept With a Woman. Am I Still Gay?’Don’t be afraid you’re committing identity fraud just because you’re not sure which word to use yet.
  7. ‘I Want to Be More Latino. Is That a Thing?’We’ve been conditioned to couple lived experience with “authenticity”; there are a set number of things a “real Latinx” must do.
  8. ‘Being Single Really, Really Sucks Right Now’I’m lonely. You’re lonely. It’s fine to feel upset about it.
  9. ‘I Feel Guilty for Living So Far From Home!’Just like our lives, home is a shifting, changing thing because, well, we carry it with us.