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Advice

  1. ¡hola papi!
    ‘Am I Petty?’We all have people we don’t like. But you’re letting your enemies live in your brain rent-free.
    By J.P. Brammer
  2. advice
    We Hate Small Talk Because We’re Bad at ItHere are some tips to engage in the horrifying ordeal of light conversation.
    By Olivia Evans
  3. ask a boss
    ‘Should I Warn My Work Friend That She’s Going to Get Herself Fired?’It would be a kindness to try, but don’t expect to spark a transformation.
    By Alison Green
  4. ¡hola papi!
    ‘Will I Ever Get Over My Breakup?’Healing is hard to notice — it’s slow and incremental.
    By J.P. Brammer
  5. ask a boss
    ‘I Had a Great Job Interview — Why Haven’t I Heard Back?’It’s really impossible to tell from the outside what might be going on.
    By Alison Green
  6. ¡hola papi!
    ‘I’m Paralyzed by Anxiety’Start focusing on the process and the pleasure, not the product.
    By J.P. Brammer
  7. my two cents
    How to Gracefully Turn Down Plans You Can’t AffordOtegha Uwagba, the author of We Need to Talk About Money, on dealing with friendship and financial anxiety.
    By Charlotte Cowles
  8. work
    How to Gracefully Decline a Job OfferIt’s completely okay for you to reject an employer.
    By Alison Green
  9. ¡hola papi!
    ‘I’m Ashamed of Where I Come From’It’s natural to feel unsatisfied with what you’ve inherited.
    By J.P. Brammer
  10. ask a boss
    Going Back to Work With Blue Hair, a Rescinded WFH Promise …And other return-to-the-office questions.
    By Alison Green
  11. ¡hola papi!
    ‘I Think I Might Be Ugly’To a certain degree, we have the power to name ourselves, to determine what we make of the hand we’ve been dealt.
    By J.P. Brammer
  12. ask a boss
    ‘Am I the Only One Who Hates Working From Home?’Lots of people feel like you do and can’t stand it.
    By Alison Green
  13. ¡hola papi!
    ‘I Wish I Had a Best Friend’As the world reopens, many of us are being reintroduced to social anxieties we haven’t had to deal with in a while.
    By J.P. Brammer
  14. my two cents
    ‘I Owe My Dad Money, and He Holds It Over My Head’You should pay him back and end this dynamic as quickly as possible.
    By Charlotte Cowles
  15. ask a boss
    ‘I’m Afraid I’m Terrible at My New Job’A lot of jobs take around six months to even start feeling comfortable. And that’s just feeling comfortable, not mastering the role.
    By Alison Green
  16. ¡hola papi!
    ‘I’m Ashamed of Who I Used to Be’While you can’t change the past, you do have a good deal of agency in how you frame it and tell your own story.
    By J.P. Brammer
  17. my two cents
    ‘I Don’t Drink, But My Friends Still Want to Split the Bill!’No, it’s not cheap to ask for separate checks.
    By Charlotte Cowles
  18. the cut podcast
    Hola Papi Sets Me StraightOn this week’s episode, discovering what makes truly good advice, with J.P. Brammer.
    By the Cut
  19. ask a boss
    How Is Returning to the Office Supposed to Work, Exactly?Responding to readers who dread going back, including reuniting with problematic co-workers and having to wear a bra every day.
    By Alison Green
  20. ¡hola papi!
    ‘Am I Unlovable?’Romantic love isn’t the only or most important kind. If you have some love in your life, meet it happily and let it be enough for a while.
    By J.P. Brammer
  21. my two cents
    ‘I Just Found Out About My Wife’s Big Trust Fund!’That’s nice, but don’t get ahead of yourself: That money doesn’t necessarily belong to you.
    By Charlotte Cowles
  22. ask a boss
    ‘I’m Scared I’ll Never Be Qualified for a Promotion’Talk to your manager! Part of retaining good people is giving them opportunities to develop their skills.
    By Alison Green
  23. ¡hola papi!
    ‘Am I Too Sensitive?’You won’t always have control over feelings that bubble up. What you do have control over is whether or not you acknowledge them.
    By J.P. Brammer
  24. my two cents
    ‘I’m Sick of My Siblings Leaning on My Parents Financially’You may not like it, but your parents are part of this problem.
    By Charlotte Cowles
  25. ask a boss
    ‘I Got a Terrible Review on Glassdoor, and I’m Spiraling’The reality is, when you’re a manager, not everyone will like working for you.
    By Alison Green
  26. ¡hola papi!
    ‘Help! I’m Annoying’Humanity is an enormous group project, and we’re all unwilling partners in it. That means we will often be annoyed with one another.
    By J.P. Brammer
  27. my two cents
    ‘Should I Keep Living With My Parents to Save Money?’Staying might be the better financial choice, but don’t fall into the trap of saving money just for the sake of it.
    By Charlotte Cowles
  28. ask a boss
    ‘Is It My Fault My Co-worker Was a Nightmare?’That she’s gone on to have a successful career doesn’t indicate you were the problem.
    By Alison Green
  29. ¡hola papi!
    ‘I Don’t Know How to Be Single’It’s harmful to let a fear of being disliked govern your existence.
    By J.P. Brammer
  30. my two cents
    ‘Help! My Friend Wants Me To Pitch in $400 For a Baby Shower’That might fly in some circles, but the important thing is that it doesn’t work for you.
    By Charlotte Cowles
  31. ask a boss
    ‘My Boss Expects Me to Work 11-Hour Days’Is your boss right that this is what you can expect in your field, or is it just what you can expect when working for her?
    By Alison Green
  32. screen time
    Extremely Specific Talking Points for When You Reenter SocietyHolding a good conversation is a little like putting together a good outfit.
    By Emilia Petrarca
  33. ¡hola papi!
    ‘How Can I Make Peace With the Life I Have?’It’s okay that you feel unsatisfied right this moment. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure. It just means you’re a person.
    By J.P. Brammer
  34. my two cents
    ‘I’m Worried About My Mom’s Finances!’ You’re right to be concerned, and the best thing you can do is bring it up with her.
    By Charlotte Cowles
  35. ask a boss
    ‘Help, My Interviewer Wants a Reference From My Current Boss!’“Who doesn’t know I’m looking.”
    By Alison Green
  36. my two cents
    ‘I’m Never Going to Be Financially Secure, So Why Try?’It won’t serve you to take an all-or-nothing approach to caring about money.
    By Charlotte Cowles
  37. ¡hola papi!
    ‘Will I Ever Meet My Soul Mate?’I believe in true love. Do I believe in soul mates? No. Absolutely not.
    By J.P. Brammer
  38. ask a boss
    ‘I Want to Keep Working Remotely Forever’You might not get a “yes,” but there’s nothing outrageous about asking.
    By Alison Green
  39. my two cents
    ‘What I Learned About the Cost of Giving Birth’Having a baby in the U.S. is astronomically expensive. Here’s how five women dealt with it.
    By Charlotte Cowles
  40. ¡hola papi!
    ‘I’m Sad Over a Relationship That Never Even Happened’It’s human to get attached to your daydreams. The thing about “almost relationships” is they are 99 percent fantasy.
    By J.P. Brammer
  41. ask a boss
    How to Ask for a RaiseBefore approaching your boss, here’s everything you should know.
    By Alison Green
  42. ¡hola papi!
    ‘I’m So Jealous of My Hot Friend’We can learn to look at ourselves in such a way that we see someone worthy of love, happiness, and affection.
    By J.P. Brammer
  43. my two cents
    ‘Can I Ask to Be Paid for the Work I’m Doing for a Job Interview?’You’re unlikely to get compensation, but you can try setting some boundaries.
    By Charlotte Cowles
  44. ask polly
    Good-bye, New YorkI’m headed to Substack and expanding Ask Polly to find new ways to help readers cultivate compassion and joy. Come with me!
    By Heather Havrilesky
  45. ask a boss
    ‘Am I a “Job Hopper,” and Is That Bad?’For most people in most fields, a pattern of moving from company to company every year or two will raise questions.
    By Alison Green
  46. ¡hola papi!
    ‘I Have a Good Life. I’m Happy. Why Isn’t That Enough?’You need to strike a balance between fantasy and reality: Someone probably isn’t going to waltz into your life and fix everything for you.
    By J.P. Brammer
  47. my two cents
    ‘My Building Is Offering Free Rent — But Not to Me!’There may not be much you can do, but there are plenty of things you can try.
    By Charlotte Cowles
  48. ask polly
    ‘My Boyfriend Refuses to Change’Do you want a real partner, or someone to admire from afar?
    By Heather Havrilesky
  49. ask a boss
    ‘I’m Becoming My Friend’s Manager. Do Things Have to Change?’You can continue to have a warm, friendly relationship. But friendly is different from friends.
    By Alison Green
  50. ¡hola papi!
    ‘Things Could Be Worse for Me, and I Feel Guilty’Happiness can and does happen in a world of hurt. It has to. What other world would it happen in?
    By J.P. Brammer
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