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Advice

  1. ask a boss
    ‘My Boss Expects Me to Work 11-Hour Days’Is your boss right that this is what you can expect in your field, or is it just what you can expect when working for her?
    By Alison Green
  2. screen time
    Extremely Specific Talking Points for When You Reenter SocietyHolding a good conversation is a little like putting together a good outfit.
    By Emilia Petrarca
  3. ¡hola papi!
    ‘How Can I Make Peace With the Life I Have?’It’s okay that you feel unsatisfied right this moment. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure. It just means you’re a person.
    By J.P. Brammer
  4. my two cents
    ‘I’m Worried About My Mom’s Finances!’ You’re right to be concerned, and the best thing you can do is bring it up with her.
    By Charlotte Cowles
  5. ask a boss
    ‘Help, My Interviewer Wants a Reference From My Current Boss!’“Who doesn’t know I’m looking.”
    By Alison Green
  6. my two cents
    ‘I’m Never Going to Be Financially Secure, So Why Try?’It won’t serve you to take an all-or-nothing approach to caring about money.
    By Charlotte Cowles
  7. ¡hola papi!
    ‘Will I Ever Meet My Soul Mate?’I believe in true love. Do I believe in soul mates? No. Absolutely not.
    By J.P. Brammer
  8. ask a boss
    ‘I Want to Keep Working Remotely Forever’You might not get a “yes,” but there’s nothing outrageous about asking.
    By Alison Green
  9. my two cents
    ‘What I Learned About the Cost of Giving Birth’Having a baby in the U.S. is astronomically expensive. Here’s how five women dealt with it.
    By Charlotte Cowles
  10. ¡hola papi!
    ‘I’m Sad Over a Relationship That Never Even Happened’It’s human to get attached to your daydreams. The thing about “almost relationships” is they are 99 percent fantasy.
    By J.P. Brammer
  11. ask a boss
    How to Ask for a RaiseBefore approaching your boss, here’s everything you should know.
    By Alison Green
  12. ¡hola papi!
    ‘I’m So Jealous of My Hot Friend’We can learn to look at ourselves in such a way that we see someone worthy of love, happiness, and affection.
    By J.P. Brammer
  13. my two cents
    ‘Can I Ask to Be Paid for the Work I’m Doing for a Job Interview?’You’re unlikely to get compensation, but you can try setting some boundaries.
    By Charlotte Cowles
  14. ask polly
    Good-bye, New YorkI’m headed to Substack and expanding Ask Polly to find new ways to help readers cultivate compassion and joy. Come with me!
    By Heather Havrilesky
  15. ask a boss
    ‘Am I a “Job Hopper,” and Is That Bad?’For most people in most fields, a pattern of moving from company to company every year or two will raise questions.
    By Alison Green
  16. ¡hola papi!
    ‘I Have a Good Life. I’m Happy. Why Isn’t That Enough?’You need to strike a balance between fantasy and reality: Someone probably isn’t going to waltz into your life and fix everything for you.
    By J.P. Brammer
  17. my two cents
    ‘My Building Is Offering Free Rent — But Not to Me!’There may not be much you can do, but there are plenty of things you can try.
    By Charlotte Cowles
  18. ask polly
    ‘My Boyfriend Refuses to Change’Do you want a real partner, or someone to admire from afar?
    By Heather Havrilesky
  19. ask a boss
    ‘I’m Becoming My Friend’s Manager. Do Things Have to Change?’You can continue to have a warm, friendly relationship. But friendly is different from friends.
    By Alison Green
  20. ¡hola papi!
    ‘Things Could Be Worse for Me, and I Feel Guilty’Happiness can and does happen in a world of hurt. It has to. What other world would it happen in?
    By J.P. Brammer
  21. my two cents
    ‘It’s Been a Year Since I Lost My Job’Three women on looking for work during the pandemic.
    By Charlotte Cowles
  22. ask a boss
    ‘I Don’t Know Why My Coworker Suddenly Dislikes Me!’It’s easy to fall into thinking another person’s behavior is about something we’ve done, when often they’re not thinking about us at all.
    By Alison Green
  23. ¡hola papi!
    ‘I Slept With a Woman. Am I Still Gay?’Don’t be afraid you’re committing identity fraud just because you’re not sure which word to use yet.
    By J.P. Brammer
  24. money talks
    What It Costs to Reopen a BusinessThree business owners on making a comeback after they closed because of COVID-19.
    By Charlotte Cowles
  25. ask a boss
    ‘I Feel No Ambition Whatsoever at Work’It’s both normal and okay not to feel any special passion for your job.
    By Alison Green
  26. ¡hola papi!
    ‘I Want to Be More Latino. Is That a Thing?’We’ve been conditioned to couple lived experience with “authenticity”; there are a set number of things a “real Latinx” must do.
    By J.P. Brammer
  27. my two cents
    ‘My Husband Won’t Stop Overspending on Worthless Crap!’This might be a normal reaction to stress, but you need to address it with him.
    By Charlotte Cowles
  28. ask polly
    ‘I Feel Like My Rage Might Eat Me Alive’You’re sad and lonely and you need to start asking for the love and support you deserve.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  29. ask a boss
    ‘Can I Recover From a Bad Reputation at Work?’Moving on might be the only way to truly start over, but that’s not necessarily the worst prospect in the world.
    By Alison Green
  30. ¡hola papi!
    ‘Being Single Really, Really Sucks Right Now’I’m lonely. You’re lonely. It’s fine to feel upset about it.
    By J.P. Brammer
  31. my two cents
    ‘How I’m Spending My Stimulus Check’Six women on what they plan to do with their money, from taking maternity leave to helping out family members.
    By Charlotte Cowles
  32. ask polly
    ‘I’m Not Ready for Isolation to End!’Instead of blaming yourself for where you are, accept yourself and stand up for your preferences.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  33. ask a boss
    ‘I Hate My Boss’s Mandatory Zoom Happy Hours!’You don’t need to go every time, but there can be professional benefit to showing up.
    By Alison Green
  34. my two cents
    ‘My Sister Is Mad I Didn’t Buy Her Rich Husband a Gift!’She can’t demand you spend money on him, but I think there might be more going on here.
    By Charlotte Cowles
  35. ask polly
    ‘My Dad Died, and Now I’m Worried I’m Headed for Divorce’You’re using your anger at your husband as a distraction to keep from facing this enormous loss.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  36. ask a boss
    ‘My Terrible Boss Asked for Feedback. Should I Be Honest?’For some managers, I welcome feedback really means “I want to hear that you like working for me.”
    By Alison Green
  37. ¡hola papi!
    ‘I Feel Guilty for Living So Far From Home!’Just like our lives, home is a shifting, changing thing because, well, we carry it with us.
    By J.P. Brammer
  38. my two cents
    ‘I’m Behind on Rent and Don’t Know What To Do’There are a few different things you can try to get out of your lease.
    By Charlotte Cowles
  39. ask a boss
    ‘I Got Promoted, But I Can’t Get a Fair Salary’If you’re thinking this is a good way to ensure a company’s most promotable employees take jobs elsewhere, you’re right.
    By Alison Green
  40. ask polly
    ‘I’m Too Old and Washed Up to Succeed!’You need to rid yourself of negative delusions and build a more resilient vision of your future.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  41. ask a boss
    ‘Is It Irresponsible to Quit My Job Without Having Another One Lined Up?’I’m a big fan of asking, If the worst happened, then what?
    By Alison Green
  42. my two cents
    ‘I’m Moving In With My Girlfriend. How Should We Split Rent?’Just by communicating about how to share expenses equitably, the two of you are already a step ahead.
    By Charlotte Cowles
  43. ask polly
    ‘Should I Leave My Good Job to Pursue My Artistic Dreams?’Stop surrendering to your worries and learn to enjoy the risks and adventure of a creative career.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  44. ask a boss
    ‘Can I Refuse to Take on More Work Without a Raise?’Often the way people “earn” a promotion is by starting to take on responsibilities outside the scope of their current job.
    By Alison Green
  45. romance
    What Should You Do on Valentine’s Day This Year?Get all dressed up with nowhere to go, have a Miyazaki marathon, and 20 more good ideas.
    By M. Elizabeth Sheldon
  46. my two cents
    I Already Blew My Budget. How Can I Get Back on Track?Don’t freak out. Focus on taking small, concrete steps to meet your goals.
    By Charlotte Cowles
  47. ask polly
    ‘I Only Want to Date Men Who’ve Been Through Therapy!’What you’re looking for is someone who’s curious and open to learning new things.
    By Heather Havrilesky
  48. ask a boss
    ‘I Want to Quit, But My Project Will Die If I Leave’As with other abusive relationships, when you’ve stayed at a toxic job for a long time, it can be hard to see that you need to get out.
    By Alison Green
  49. valentine’s day
    For Valentine’s Day, Get Your Partner a Gift You WantLike, say, fancy serving utensils.
    By Erica Schwiegershausen
  50. my two cents
    ‘My Sister Is So Cheap and It’s Driving Me Nuts!’She might not know better, or she could just be a jerk. You won’t really know unless you talk to her.
    By Charlotte Cowles
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